Another reason for her to hate me.
Maria's jaw clenched as she took in my appearance. I was dressed for dinner out, and I belatedly hoped she didn'tactuallythink I was out with another woman.
Thankfully, Maria jerked the door open, silently inviting me in. I quickly slid through before she changed her mind.
While she engaged the locks, my hungry eyes ate her up. Her hair was secured in place by some claw contraption. But it was what she wore that had my cock twitching. A short black leather skirt showcased her long legs, and a tight, long-sleeved olive green sweater with a low square neckline highlighted her impressive cleavage. I'd only ever seen her in jeans or longer skirts. She had legs for days. Absolutely stunning.
I quickly averted my gaze when she turned to address me. "Okay. Say what you want to say." She folded her arms defensively.
She wasn't going to make this easy for me.
"First, I owe you a major apology. What I said to you was not okay. I'm so sorry." I took a deep breath and decided to lay it all out there. "I'm going through some stuff related to my late wife. Things...came up recently that made me realize I'm not quite ready to date seriously yet."
She gave a little frustrated huff and unfolded her arms.
"So why not just say that? I told you on our first date that things might not turn serious between us, that one of us may decide that the other wasn't right for them. But instead of ending things amicably, you decide to insult me."
"I didn't mean it that way," I pleaded. "Truthfully? I wasn't ready to end things with us. I know that's selfish –"
"It's not only selfish, it was disrespectful," she snapped.
"How was it disrespectful?"
She let out a throaty snort and shook her head. "On our first date, you asked me if I was seeking "the one." I was real honest with you that I was at a point in my life where I would only be dating towards something serious with someone."
My heart sank as I recalled our frank conversation that afternoon. I remembered feeling pleased that she was on the same page as me. Christ, I really fucked this up.
"So what made you think that it was okay aftertwo dates," she emphasized, "where we had meaningful connections, not to mention all the countless texts and calls between us—why you then thought it was okay to offer a booty call out of the fucking blue in the middle of dinner at someMichelinstyle restaurant?"
Her face was red from anger as she jabbed a finger in my direction. It felt like a strike straight to the heart.
"What aboutmemade you think I would be down for that? We've never fucked, barely even kissed –"
"Barely?" I growled as I took a step forward. "I had my tongue down your throat. I felt how much you wanted me."
It was the wrong thing to say, and I don't know why I said it. My stupid ego just could not allow her to dismiss one of the hottest kisses I'd had as nothing.
Her eyes flashed in outrage as she clenched her fists. "So because of one kiss, you think I'd be down for it?" Her voice was low and tight.
I turned away from her and pulled at my hair in frustration. Aimed only at me.
"Fuck!" I whirled back to face her. "No. You're right. My behavior was unacceptable. After our lunch at your office, my sister-in-law came over real upset. We started chatting about - about Hannah. Things got emotionally heavy, and I realized I needed a break to process things."
"So you thought you'd process things via my body?"
"What? No! Shit, Maria." This was not going as I'd hoped.
Maria held up her hand to halt my next words. "I'm sorry about your wife," she softly remarked. "Truly, I am. But I am not in the position to make you feel better—sexually—to get over your grief. My body is not your therapy."
Her words hit my gut like a knife, and I wanted to punch something in anger. Especially when a realization dawned on me.
I came here to make amends, but I also came to ask for a second chance. I could admit that now. I'd been kidding myself about needing closure. As soon as I saw Maria through the window, I felt the rock that had been lodged in my throat for weeks ease. But I was digging a hole to New Zealand at this point, and I didn't think there was a way to climb out.
"Fuck! Maria, sweetheart," I paused when she flinched at the endearment. "I fucked up, OK? I know I can't take back what I said, but I want to keep seeing you; I do."
She shook her head, and my hopes deflated further. "I can't forget what you said, Brian. Maybe another girl would overlookit, but I know you're in a vulnerable place. You just want to keep me around until you feel ready to take me seriously. That's not fair on me."
"No, that's not what this is." Except it was.
