"Hi there!" The bubbly blonde called out when I remained silent. "Do you have an appointment?" She stared at me expectantly as her hand clasped the computer mouse.
A few heads turned to me. None were Maria.
What the fuck was I doing? I felt like a deer in headlights as I snapped back to reality. Tracking Maria down at her place of work might not be appreciated by her. The more I thought of it, the more I realized that it was downright stalkerish and would probably cause her to write me off completely. Yeah, this was a stupid idea.
I slowly started to back up. "Erm, no. Sorry, I thought a friend was in here for a hair appointment, but he must've left."
"Oh, what's his name? I can check." Her fingers were poised over the keyboard as she continued to smile politely at me.
"Ah, no. That's okay. Oh, look, he's just texted me. Thanks. See ya." I waved my phone at her pathetically before swiftly walking back out the door, embarrassed I had even thought to do that. I had to keep hoping to bump into her.
So when I entered Malley's almost a month later and spotted a familiar dark head and sexy little body at the bar, the relief I felt almost had me pumping my fist in victory.
Fuckingfinally.
I wasn't surprised when she didn't immediately jump for joy when I approached her, but that confirmed my suspicion—Maria had seen my wedding pic and presumed I was still married. After she dismissed me at the bar, I was determined not to give up. Far from it. I hoped that a bit of alcohol would make her more amenable to a conversation later in the night.
But then she flicked me that warm, sultry smile from her table; the rest was history.
Maria didn't agree to dinner.
But she did agree to lunch.
It deflated me a little that she was still keeping a wall up. I was usually the guarded one when I took a woman out. This sense of unease—of needing to impress Maria enough that she would give this thing between us a chance—was a foreign feeling to me.
It was my first proper date with someone after Hannah. Yes, I'd been on dinner dates, but I knew they would all end in a casual sexual arrangement if the woman agreed. Maria was the first woman I was going into this with a potential long-term goal in mind. Even if we didn't end up together, at least I'd crossed that first hurdle after Hannah's death.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, taking me out of my thoughts. Hoping it was from Maria, I hurriedly took it out. I texted her a good morning message earlier, and she responded in kind. Iwaited to see if she would reach out again, but my phone had been annoyingly silent all day, bar work calls.
My stomach dipped when I saw Sarah's name.
Sarah:Thanks for dinner last night. We gotta finish the series soon! X
I bit back a groan of annoyance before guilt overtook me. Sarah had dropped by unexpectedly last night. I hadn't gotten around to delivering any of my "old" clothes to donate, so she took it upon herself to come over and raid my closet.
She then made me dinner, despite my protests that I wasn't hungry. I was; I just wasn't in the mood for company. She then cleaned up before making popcorn and switching on a series that turned out to have more sex scenes than I was comfortable with watching while seated next to my former sister-in-law.
It wasn't Sarah's fault that I wasn't up to company. I was used to her coming around and even welcomed it at times to break up the deafening silence Hannah's loss left me. But that night—when my thoughts were on another woman and where to take her on our first date—the timing couldn't be worse.
Swallowing down my guilt, I texted the person I really wanted to hear from.
Brian:Hey, beautiful. I'm looking forward to our date. Was thinking of taking you to Roman's out in Dellwood. Have you been there before?
I re-read the text before deleting it. It sounded a little too desperate. Like I was hanging out for Saturday to roll around. I couldn't say that assessment was completely wrong.
Brian:Hey, there. How's work going? Have you been to Roman's in Dellwood? We could go there for our lunch date.
Roman's was a bistro and not somewhere you went for a casual lunch with a friend. I could at least go a little fancy if Maria didn't want to do dinner. It was no good taking her to a café where afternoon bikers in lycra stopped in for their coffee break.
Maria:Passed it many times but never tried it. Sounds good. Work's work. How's it going for you?
My eyebrows pulled down. I couldn't tell from her text if she was as keen on our lunch date as I was. But I sensed that Maria liked to keep her emotions close to her chest.
Brian:Great, 1 pm ok? Work is busy as usual.
I added a smiley face before deleting it. What the fuck was wrong with me? My game was usually on point. Maria had me all twisted.
Maria:Sounds good.
