The real me would have no problems dressing a man down or throwing a drink at him over something like this. But I’d foolishly built our interaction into something that could potentially lead somewhere. So when,of course, he turned out to be fucking married, I didn't have the energy to unleash hell on him.
"Hmm,' Linda mused. "You weren't curious about his explanation?"
I gave an outraged snort. "My interaction with him lasted less than an hour. I didn't care enough about him to ask questions."
Linda gave me a long look laced with gentle understanding. I wheeled away from her to grab my bag.
"Was he an out-of-towner?"
"No," I snapped as I started to rummage around my handbag, taking things out and rearranging pockets. Anything to avoid seeing the look of pity on Linda's face. It was the same expression people gave me after Simon started dating Sofia. Never mind the fact that I was the one who had ended things with him. "He moved to the area a few years ago. Lives out in Dellwood," I woodenly told her.
Linda watched me as I started fiddling with my phone, pretending to check my messages. The silence thickened, and Icould sense her wanting to say something but not wanting to risk my wrath again.
I threw my phone on the table and raked a hand through my short locks. "I'm just sick of men like him," I hissed as Linda observed me patiently. "Fucking assholes who see my tits and legs and think they can just pick me up and play with me whenever they feel like it." I waved my hands. "And then they toss me aside like a piece of trash."
"Wait." Linda leaned forward, her expression earnest. "Is that why you chopped your hair off and started dressing like a nun?"
My cheeks reddened as I ran a self-conscious hand through my hair again. I’d cut it into a long bob, sometimes styling it straight or in fun, beachy waves if I had time. I thought it suited me, although it did take a while to get used to not having long hair, something that had been part of my identity for so long. "You said you liked my hair."
"I do," she agreed, "But you'd look like a goddess even with your head shaved." She gestured toward my body. "And the clothes?"
I looked down at my tight black jeans and long-sleeved green blouse with the ruffled collar. I thought I still looked sophisticated yet sexy. My jeans still cupped my high ass, and my blouse had a dip which showcased a subtle hint of cleavage. It was still me; just toned down a little.
"It was time to stop dressing like a teenage raver."
Linda's eyes turned soft, and if I weren't worried that she would actually get up and leave, I would've snapped at her to quit pitying me. "Truth is, Ria, you could be wearing a potato sack, and men would still approach you. You exude sensuality."
I threw my hands up in frustration. "That's fucking great, but how do I exude it towards single, commitment-ready men around my age?"
She shrugged a bare shoulder. "Sometimes you gotta kiss a few frogs before you find your prince."
"Well, I could fill a fucking pond, let me tell you! I've done my dues."
After that night with Logan, I decided I wasn’t going to sleep with a guy until I was one hundred percent certain that he verbally confirmed to me we were exclusive. I'd already been burned by Simon. He wanted to keep it casual yet visited me constantly when he lived forty minutes away, and even invited me to his cousin's engagement party. I took them as markers to indicate he was finally taking our relationship seriously. Only to find out that he had slept with Lissa a few months prior and only ever saw me as a casual fuck.
"Honestly, Ria, I thought you liked being single and keeping your interactions casual." She shook her head. "I had no idea that you were looking for something serious."
"Yeah, well...," I shrugged. I looked away again as I cursed myself for sharing so much.
Linda had a way of dragging out the tiniest tidbits and acting like she genuinely cared. Like she wanted to listen to your problems. My friendship with Lissa hadn't been like that. Our friendship had been shallow based on drunken nights out, bitchiness and gossip. Our conversations held no depth. Even when I discussed Simon with her, she would listen half-heartedly while giving me terrible advice. She flirted with him outrageously, which used to annoy me, but since her whole personality was about being the center of attention, I dismissed it as Lissa being Lissa.
Yes, she stole other women's boyfriends and that one husband she played around with for a month before he realized how crazy she was and tried slinking back home to his wife. But I never once thought she would do that to me. More fool me. I couldn't pick men or friends to save my life.
Linda stood, smoothing her skirt down. "Listen, why don't you come out with us later? We're heading to Malley's for a drink." She wiggled her brows at me. "Hey, you may meet the love of your life."
I snorted. Fat chance of that happening. I didn't have the will nor energy to talk to any man tonight. They were the devil as far as I was concerned.
But a fun night out with a bunch of non-toxic people sounded like something I needed. Linda, bless her heart, still asked me to come out with them every Friday night, and I still always turned her down. What the hell!
"You know what? Sure, I'm down."
Chapter 7
Maria
Malley's was quiet tonight, thank goodness. I wasn't in the mood for a loud band and having to maneuver my way between drunk dancing folks. The girls walked straight to the large booth in the back corner—their usual drinking spot—and all piled in. They were clearly comfortable enough with each other to bump shoulders and practically sit on each other's laps. I chose to wait before sitting at the end, facing the bar; my body turned outward to avoid touching Rachel beside me. It was also handy if I needed to make a hasty Irish exit.
I tried to concentrate on the buzz of comfortable, excitable chatter around me, but I got lost in their conversation. I felt like an interloper as I sat awkwardly perched in my seat with a strained smile. Hoping to break the ice with a few of the girls who were still wary of me, I offered to buy a round of drinks and fries for the table.
