As I followed Brian through his house, my eyes couldn't help but fall on the details of his home. Personal touches that made a house a home.
There were a few hints scattered around that a woman used to live here—the painting of a colorful vase hanging in the hallway being one of them—but I was surprised to note that the rest of the house appeared simple and gender-neutral. I didn't know what I expected to walk into, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that the thought of a shrine with her photos and wedding dress had crossed my mind. I even had a wacky dream where his walls had her pictures lining them, and she followed me with her eyes, judging me. As quickly as I thought it, I felt terrible. This was all new territory for me. I, of course, didn't mind if Brian had a few photos of her up. I even expected it.
"I'm not much of a cook, but I had to learn something more than ramen noodles once –" He stopped, his eyes shifting to mine in apology.
"Brian, you don't need to censor yourself around me. I know you had a whole life with someone else. Plus," I shrugged. "I can't cook, either. That's why Spice Club loves me so much," I joked, referring to the local Asian takeout.
He tipped his head back and laughed. "We can both be terrible cooks together."
I gave him a half smile, rubbing my elbow as I glanced around the kitchen. It was simple and tidy, and a delicious smell came from one of the covered pots. He already had plates and cutlery out.
"Come into the living room. Can I get you a drink?"
I stayed where I was, knowing I needed to get this over with before he started dishing out our dinner. After all, I might notbe staying. "Before we get started. There's something I wanted to ask you."
A slight panic flashed across his face. He rubbed his hands together. "Yeah, of course. What is it?"
My eyes avoided his. "Linda lives just down the road from you. At the end of the next street, actually."
He frowned. "Okay."
"She drives through your street to get to her house. A couple of days ago, she saw you outside with some blonde girl. She pulled over to watch because she's a nosey bitch." A realization came over his face, but I pushed on. "She said you two looked cozy before disappearing inside your house.
Brian's face softened and a loose breath had his chest expanding. "Maria –"
"This is hard for me because the old me would've done something bitchy and manipulative to bring your attention back to me. I would never have confronted you, but I would've let the insecurity stay inside of me until I ultimately did something fucked up." I took a deep breath. "But I'm learning to speak openly and honestly about my feelings. I want to give you a chance to explain before jumping to conclusions." Even though a thousand painful scenarios had already played through my mind.
Brian shuffled forward and took my hand. He lifted it to his lips before pressing a soft kiss against the back of it. Tingles zapped up my arm at the feather-light touch. His eyes were sincere as they continued to gaze at me with a care that had my heart racing.
"That was Sarah. She's my sister-in-law. Hannah's sister."
I almost sagged in relief before I pulled my hand from his. Of course. God, why hadn't I considered that? He looked relieved and didn't look at all put off by my insinuation.
"I actually hadn't seen her in a while, so we were a little emotional with our hugging. We-we had a little falling out." A shadow crossed his face.
"You did?" I shook my head. "Sorry, I'm being nosey."
"No. No, I want to tell you," he insisted. "Let me just check the mince. I hope tacos are okay."
He peered into the pot before stirring a few times. He brought out his phone, and I hid a smile when I spied a picture of tacos. It was cute that he was double-checking the recipe. He placed the lid back on the pot and turned a few knobs. "I'm just gonna let it simmer for a while. C'mon."
He guided me to the living area and indicated to the couch. His hand remained in mine, holding tightly. "She's been struggling a lot. It's understandable, of course, losing your dad and then your sister. We leaned on each other, both understanding the other's pain." He took a shuddering breath. "But lately, I've realized that our relationship has been a little too codependent. It's like we fed off each other's grief, making it worse."
He paused, and I squeezed his hand to let him know I was hearing him. "Lately, I've been trying to find my own life outside my in-laws. When I told them that I was interested in dating again—with you in mind—my mom-in-law, Diane, she took it really well."
He shook his head, and his sigh brushed my cheek. "But Sarah didn't. She still doesn't like it. I thought we could talk and clear the air when she came over that day. But she did something, in my opinion, a little underhanded. Words were exchanged, and she left pissed.Iwas pissed."
I leaned forward. "What happened?"
His mouth twisted before he scrubbed a hand down his face. "She gave me a letter that Hannah wrote me while she was sick."
I reared back. "Was she supposed to give it to you?"
"She claims that Hannah told her to give it to me when she felt I was ready. But the letter, although I am super grateful to read it, didn't give me any indication that it was kept from me for so long for a particular reason."
He rolled his hand as he continued. "She talked about our first memories together and how she was at peace because her dad would be waiting on the other side." His mouth was set in a sad smile, and a shimmer of emotion flashed in his eyes.
I moved closer, feeling an inexplicable need to offer comfort. "It was beautiful to read. Definitely had me feeling some heavy emotions. But I just don't understand why it wasn't given to me sooner."
