His face paled, and he glanced down at his food. I stifled a giggle and leaned forward, placing my hand on top of his. "Don't worry, I won't make you watch them with me."
He glanced back up at me before looking down at my hand again, which covered his much larger one. Awareness had me jerking it back again as if singed. This was what I'd meant by everything being so easy with Brian. When my guard was down,my natural instinct was to lean into our attraction, no matter how innocent my touch had been.
Brian's face couldn't have appeared more pleased despite my sudden withdrawal. "You know," he slowly drawled. "I think I'd just about sit through anything as long as you hold my hand."
A thrilling heat climbed up my cheeks, but I kept my gaze on him, smirking at his smooth line. It may have landed with me, but I wasn't going to let him see that.
"Did you watch a lot of movies as a kid? I'm guessing your parents didn't let you watch body horror."
And just like that, the thrill slithered away. I knew Brian wanted to get to know me better, but every time he asked about my childhood, I'd repel the conversation away. Childhood films seemed like such an innocuous question, but a lasting memory I had of my dad was his love of 80's action movies.
I had vivid memories of watching them with him, even at a young age. When he'd left us, he also left behind his hoard of DVDs and old VCR tapes. I used to watch them whenever I felt alone or needed cheering up, which was often. But then, one of mom's boyfriends sold our TV for drug money. We couldn't afford another television, so I dumped his tapes into the trash in a fit of anger at both my parents.
"My dad watched a lot of action movies, so I grew up loving those. We’d watch Sylvester Stallone, Jean Claude Van Dam, Arnold, and even old Jackie Chan movies from when he first started making films in the States." A fuzzy memory of sitting on my dad's knee as we watched something together crowded me, and I blinked back tears.
But that sadness was quickly replaced with an angry coldness when an image of me sitting on the steps of our home—the same home that we lost due to our mortgage payments lapsing—waiting for my dad to come home. I wouldn't believe my mom when she told me he was never coming back.
If my dad were still alive and tried to worm his way back into my life, I would tell him to fuck off. In fact, my exact words to Dr. Anna were: "I wouldn't spit on him if he were on fire." No amount of therapy would allow me to welcome him back in.
Brian's foot touched mine, bringing me out of my raging thoughts. "I wish my dad had been into that. He was more of a documentary type of guy."
Brian's parents had both been educators who hadn't planned on having kids until an anniversary trip to Italy produced Brian. Despite being a whoops baby, the way Brian talked about his parents made it clear that he'd been the apple of their eye.
A twinge of envy pierced me when I thought of Brian's idyllic childhood, but that was replaced by shame when I remembered his parents had died in a car crash when he was a teen. It would've been hard to have two loving parents only to lose them so early in life. Fuck, and on top of that, he also lost his father-in-law and then his wife. So much loss for one person.
A new compassion came over me at how much emotional baggage Brian had to wade through. Not many people would be able to come out the other side if they had to deal with such repetitive grief and loss.
"Is that what you want to do, though?" Brian questioned. "Work in the film industry? Or something like this Gena person is doing?"
I swirled my drink around as I considered his question. "I don't know. I love running my own business, but it can be tiresome dealing with customers and worrying about the overhead and the well-being of your staff. I am super lucky with the people I currently have employed, though," I acknowledged.
He nodded and raised his drink to me. "I can tell they love and respect you. That's a credit to how you treat them."
He then filled me in on their reaction to his sudden reappearance at the salon the other day. I hadn't told them I wasgiving Brian another chance—not because I was worried about their opinion on it, but because I wanted to ensure that Brian was serious this time. I didn't want to start mentioning him again prematurely.
Turns out, it didn't take much to win the girls over. They trusted my judgment, but I had a feeling that his showing up with a snack for everyone had tipped him in their favor. It certainly had me standing up and taking notice of his effort. It felt good to know he was thinking of me. I'd enjoyed our last date at Hart's, but my mind was so distracted by saying and doing the right thing. Plus, everything going on at work kept me busy, so I didn't start relaxing until much later in the night.
After our dinner, I'd started to second guess whether it was a good idea to start things up again when I couldn't even make time for another date with him.
But then he showed up, and I realized that whatever else I had going on, I deserved to explore whatever this ended up being with Brian. After all, our chemistry was still strong, and I still found him to be just as attractive as the first time I'd met him.
"They were certainly surprised to see you again," I revealed with a giggle.
His heated gaze scorched me. "I'm glad."
My eyes dropped from his. "What about you? It sounds like your mom-in-law and sister are super close to you. Are they supportive of your decision to start dating again?"
He nodded, but not before I spied a sliver of hesitation in him. Dread sunk deep in my gut. Oh, god, were they not supportive of him?
"My mom-in-law is. My sister-in-law…she's struggling a bit." His gaze still didn't meet mine. I had a feeling there was more to the story than he was letting on.
A nagging pit formed in my stomach until he reached over and clasped my hand, calming me. "Hannah and I met in collegein New York. She was studying textile design while I was doing business. Her sister was in school at that time, but Hans would call her nearly every day. They were super close, so she became like a sister to me. It's been a difficult few years, losing her dad and then her sister a year later."
My hand turned in his, sympathy replacing the discomfort I felt. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine that kind of loss."
He squeezed my hand. "One day, I hope to talk to you more about Hannah. If you're okay with that."
I nodded, squeezing his hand once before releasing it. "I am."
