"Thank you. I can agree with that."
Her guarded gaze glittered in relief before she picked up her glass and took another small sip. "Okay. Good to know."
The veil of tension lifted from that point, and the dam of conversation broke, flowing fluidly like it had when we first met. I was aware that things could still go bottoms up, but I trusted our chemistry and verbal agreement to wade through the caution tape that came with dating.
More plates landed on our table; this time, I had no issues with the gawking waiter or the meager food. Maria had anotherwine while I stopped at one beer since I was driving. She started to open up to me a little throughout the night. Her smiles were wider, her eyes twinkled at me, and her laughs were no longer stifled. She still had a small wall up when it came to specific topics, but I knew when to swerve away and focus on making the beautiful woman in front of me fall for my witty charm.
At the end of the night, I deemed our non-date a success. Although, considering our last date ended with her quietly storming off, it wasn't hard to come to that conclusion.
I was even more convinced that our dinner went well when Maria allowed me to drive her back from Longford. She'd taken a rideshare instead of driving, most likely so she could have a few drinks to loosen up. She would've still been okay to drive after two wines and a few glasses of water in between, but I was happy I could spend a few more moments with her.
However, it soon seemed like a terrible idea when her scent filled my head two minutes into the drive, making the one beer I’d drunk seem like ten. My eyes continually strayed to the smooth expanse of thigh next to me before I mentally slapped myself. The last thing I wanted to happen was to run my car off the road because I couldn't keep my eyes to myself.
"Can I call you tomorrow?" I asked, my heart in my throat. I wanted to walk her to her door, but she refused. I thought our dinner went better than anticipated, but I didn't want to assume she felt the same way. "I'd love to see you again."
Her fingers tapped her thigh as she peeked at me below her long lashes. Her answer came within three seconds, but I might as well have waited thirty minutes. Her red lips curved as she nodded. "I'd like that."
An explosion of happiness spread inside me, but I kept my face passive. I pushed a curtain of soft, fragrant hair behind one ear. My fingers grazed her cheek gently, lingering with a soft caress.Her breath shuttered, and her sweet lips parted a fraction. "Thank you for tonight. Please text me when you get in."
My hand reluctantly dropped, and I watched her exit my vehicle, her cloud of addictive scent floating back to me. I stayed in the carpark, wanting to soak in her presence a little more, even though she was no longer physically with me. Her soft, sweet perfume lingered in the tight constraints of my vehicle. I wished I could box the scent and dangle it from my mirror.
My phone pinged ten minutes later.
Maria:In. Have a good night.
With one last look at her apartment, I finally went home. For the first time in years, I slept deeply.
Chapter 33
Brian
"Did you respond back to her?" Dr. Grant queried, her ballpoint pen poised above her pad.
"I thanked her for her message and apologized for not reaching out sooner. I told her that I'd love to come over for dinner soon.".
"You didn't want to cement plans?"
When I first came to therapy, I used to regard Dr. Grant's probing questions as small tests. If I said the wrong thing or made the wrong choice, she'd mentally shake her head and condemn me in my notes.
"Lost cause."
"Needs more sessions."
"He doesn't get it."
But after a few sessions, I realized that part of a therapist's job is to challenge you—to help you explore scenarios from angles you hadn't considered. It made me a more critical thinker.I started to take into account other people's reactions to my actions and became more considerate of everyone's feelings.
"I think I'm doing really well with therapy," I carefully replied, "and I'm starting to carve a life outside of Hannah and our memories. I definitely want to reconnect with them and apologize to Diane, but I want to sort my life out first."
"Are you worried about what they'll think of you dating again?"
The anxiety in my stomach tightened at the thought, but just as quickly, my mind drifted to Maria's beautiful face. That knot soon faded. We hadn't had another "non-date" yet—not by my choice. Maria's business kept her busy, so she was working late with the uptick in foot traffic and inquiries.
That didn't give me an excuse to rest on my laurels. I found ways to let her know I was still one hundred percent in. I called and texted her daily and even met her at the café next door for lunch. I didn't count that as a date—just imprints of myself that I prayed would attach to her.
I knew she had other options for men; plus, her business kept her busier than ever. She didn't need me. So I had to ensure she'd never consider anyone else. I wanted her to care enough about me to carve space in her life.
"Not particularly," I divulged. "Diane—before Sarah interrupted—seemed happy for me. That's another reason why I'm not reaching out to meet just yet. I want to give my relationship with Maria time to flourish before introducing her." And I planned to do that as soon as she was ready.
