"See." Harrison bumped my shoulder. "That wasn't so bad,"
I gave a small laugh. "I still would rather be in my pj's watchingSchitt’s Creek, but yes, this wasn't too terrible."
"I'll take that compliment," Harrison smiled.
He stood and stretched. His shirt rode up, and, yes, I ogled at the sliver of male flesh that appeared. His stomach was hard and flat with a little happy trail. I wanted to lick it.
Wait. No, I didn't.
"So!" Harrison interrupted my lewd thoughts. "You walked?" At my nod, Harrison swept up his car keys. "C'mon, I'm gonna drive you home."
Before I could protest, he held up a hand. "Please, Grace. I need to get some things off my chest and I can't do that with you avoiding me at every turn."
I hid a grimace. Well, how could I argue with that? After all, I had given James a stage to apologize to me. Surely I could give the same courtesy to Harrison? Plus, it was best to get it over with before the festivities of Amelia and Liam's wedding started. I didn't want any resentful tension to cloud their day.
Not trusting myself to speak, I nodded my consent before following Harrison outside into the warm evening air. The short drive back to Amelia and Liam's was silent, filled with an anticipatory tension that had me on edge. I would've preferred him to chat during the drive so I could be distracted by the moving scenery, but it appeared that he was saving his apology tour for the door.
Harrison pulled up outside Amelia and Liam's cute bungalow and shut the engine. I kept my face forward, waiting on pins for his speech to start.
He took a deep breath and turned to me. My heart pounded in my chest, and I started to sweat. Why did I feel so nervous?
"Grace," he started. "There are so many things I need to say. So many things I need to apologize for. Before I get to that, I need to explain why I was such a–a–"
"A little shit?" I helpfully supplied.
His smile was remorseful. "To say the least."
I twisted my fingers in my lap, willing my heartbeat to slow. I gazed longingly out my window, wishing I was in the safe confines of Amelia and Liam's house.
"As you know, my mom left us when I was thirteen."
I frowned, at the odd start. Nodding slowly, I dredged up something in the recesses of my mind. I recalled Ursula O'Connor as a beautiful woman, if not a little detached. I was too young to comprehend what happened, but later, I understood that Ursula had left the family for another man. I never saw her again, but I thought she had kept in contact with Harrison and Ryan. What that had to do with Harrison's bullying, though, I didn't know.
"I was so angry when she left. I had to become the adult of the house because Ryan was so little and Dad was a mess. I also felt a lot of pressure knowing that someday I had to take over the farm when it was the last thing I wanted. On top of that, feeling abandoned by your mom who never bothered to reach out again."
I gasped, shocked by that reveal. Sympathy for Harrison and his brother lanced through me, even though it was probably the last thing he wanted.
"I started hanging out with Kyle, who, admittedly, was a dick. But he was popular, and I just wanted to be accepted and liked. I started acting out in school, and my grades suffered. It didn't help that I was reaching a hormonal age where I became the stereotypical moody teenager." He took a deep breath, his hand tightening on the wheel.
"And then there was you." He turned again to face me. "Grace, I always thought you were so pretty growing up. I had the biggest crush on you,"
"What?" I gaped. "You did?" I was stunned.
"Yeah." He smiled shyly. "C'mon, those dark pigtails, big blue eyes. I remember you telling off an older kid for picking on me. I just thought you were the greatest. So smart, pretty, and confident."
He gave a deep sigh. "And then I took that all away from you. The smiles, the confidence, all of that gone from my life. If I could go back in time..." He shook his head. "But I can't, and I need to own that."
He paused again before continuing. "The truth is, I saw you so confident in where you were going in life. You had a loving family with parents who clearly loved each other. You were doing well in school and had a clear pathway—one that I knew your parents were working their asses off to provide for you."
He gave a wistful smile as I worked at keeping my jaw off the floor. I had no idea he noticed all that. "I remember you having a vision page in your diary at school where you had all the colleges you wanted to apply to. You were going places. And I was going to lose you, too. I would be stuck in Ashburton working at the family farm doing something I was born into but was not passionate about. And you were going to fly away and follow your dreams."
I stared at him, no longer able to keep my mouth closed. Out of all the things Harrison had to confess, I was not expecting all of this.
"Harrison," I started. But I didn't know what to say.
"I took it too far, the bullying," he acknowledged. "But once I started, I thought, "Well, she fucking hates me already, might as well keep going." His dark head shook in self-recrimination.
"The last couple of years of high school, you changed. You hit back. You gave as good as we did, and I fucking loved it. I was so proud of you, and it made me more angry because by then I knew for sure you were leaving, and how could I lose you?"
