We had passed quite a few people on the popular hike. A couple of women stopped to say hi to us, but Barron hadn't engaged in conversation. He only gave them a cursory nod before continuing on his trek. Strangely enough, my ordinarily smooth charm was missing.
I always had a flirtatious grin ready, along with a cheesy pick-up line. I would've had a few numbers lined up already and wouldn't think twice about ditching the crew to meet up with one of them later tonight.
But, weirdly, I didn't have the compulsion to engage in meaningless banter. I never said more than a "hi, how you doing?" Before marching on, without waiting for a response.
I clutched the straps of my bag tighter as I navigated through a tight pathway of rock. As always, my thoughts turned to Sofia. Last night she shared a part of herself that surprised me. Sofia always acted tough, like she didn't need anybody, let alone a man. And she probably didn't.
But her confession that she longed for a deep love like her parents had ignited a hunger within me. I wasn't a romantic guy; I would never willingly watch a romcom or even read a romance novel. But even I had to admit that her parent's love story was epic. I was riveted, like a schoolgirl at a sleepover listening to juicy gossip.
Sofia deserved a man like that. She was beautiful, funny, intelligent, talented, and kind. Well, not to me. But I had witnessed her acts of kindness from afar. Her fierceness and protective nature to anyone lucky enough to call her a friend. Last night, a big chink in her armor with me came down, and the more I chipped away, the more I liked what I discovered.
I sighed in relief as I passed a wooden sign that read 'Summit.' Fucking finally.
I pushed aside a few tree branches and climbed the small steps onto the dirt landing. I had hiked this trail a few times before, but the view never ceased to amaze me.
"This is incredible," Barron commented, holding his camera up to take a picture of the rolling mountains.
"Here," he turned so his back was to the view. He held his camera out high in front of him. "Get in here. I'll send the picture to our moms. They'll get a kick outta this."
I gladly obliged, flicking the camera a peace sign. "Send that to me, too."
We sat and pulled out our snacks, chatting about the hike and what we would do tonight. As much as we both wanted to continue our video game play, we agreed that it didn't go down well for the others. Barron had to do some extra begging last night with Eden—too much information.
Barron cleared his throat and started fiddling with the lid of his water bottle. "Thank you for apologizing to Eden," he murmured.
My cheeks flooded with color, and I turned to gaze at the view to the left of me.
After Barron had gently dragged Eden away - mid hug - he had lifted his chin at me in acknowledgment of my apology. I breathed a sigh of relief, elated that the burdens of my youthful misdeeds were starting to wash away. I didn't expect any further mention of it.
I shrugged. "It's all good. It was long overdue."
An unsettled silence fell between us.
Just as I was about to suggest that we head back down, Barron clasped his hand on my shoulder.
"You know that I never blamed you for any of that shit, right? I was responsible for my own actions."
Okay, so we were going to do this.
I sighed as a heavy rock settled back in my stomach. I recalled Barron constantly texting with Eden and the resentment I felt that she was dragging his attention away from my vacation with him. I was already feeling some type of way about leaving for college. I had a lot of nervous and depressive energy that I had covered up with a kind of fake cocky confidence that bordered on arrogance. I just wanted to forget it all by blowing off steam, and I was willing to drag Barron down with me for my own gratification.
"I knew Lissa wanted to hook up with you before I even dragged you to that party. She made me promise to bring you," I admitted. I scrubbed my face with my hands as mortification washed over me. "Truth was, I just didn't care about anybody but myself."
Barron's hands tightened on the bottle he was holding. I heard him breathe in deeply before releasing it out slowly. I wouldn't be surprised if he shoved me off this mountain.
"I'm sorry, Barr. I was a shitty cousin to you. I played into your fears of leaving for college after high school, on whether your love for Eden would withstand adulthood." I felt a burning sensation press against the back of my eyes, and I stared at a soaring bird, watching it dip and rise before the weighted feeling went away.
Barron sighed, taking off his cap and running his hands through his hair. I sat rigidly next to him, my heart in my throat as I waited for his response.
"You know, if you told me this when we were kids - hell if you told me this five years ago, I would've punched your lights out."
"You still can," I joked weakly.
Barron gave a humorless snort. "As much as I would love to blame you for my shitty actions, I can't. Yes, your intentions were sinister, but I'm responsible for my behavior and decisions—no one else. I made the decision to step out on Eden even though everything in me protested. I gave in."
I took my own cap off and flipped it backward on my head. "I'm still so sorry, Barron. I hope you can forgive me for my role in it. If I wasn't there whispering in your ear -"
"There's no point going over woulda, shoulda, coulda's," Barron interrupted. "It happened. Going over what we should have done is pointless," he bluntly stated.
