The New York City Department of Buildings was housed in a stately behemoth of a building that both recalled Civil War America and contained all the forward motion in the modern developer world.
It was my current location, as well.Archer and I sat in a small office with fluorescent lighting that hummed like angry bees, no doubt preparing us for an abrasive meeting with the commissioner who oversaw the entire building.
Archer’s work last week at the gala, approaching Commissioner Hayes in person and following up about the unevenly applied standards of his plan examiners and building inspectors, had led to this meeting.The final, formal review of the recent permit revocation.
My knee bounced as we waited for someone—anyone—to come through the door.
“Why does this place feel more like jail than a place of business?”Archer muttered.
“He might plan to interrogate us,” I replied.“You never know.”
“Or waterboard us,” Archer added.He turned and looked me square in the eye.“Would you get waterboarded if it meant they gave us the permit?”
I blinked.“I mean—”
“I need an answer.How committed are you to this project?”
“He’s not going to waterboard us,” I hissed.
“But if he did,” Archer said, “would you take one for the team and get waterboarded?I need to hear you say it.”
“Archer, this is a moot point, I’m not going—”
“When he walks in here with that nozzle,” my ridiculous brother continued, “what is your answer?”
The door suddenly opened and we straightened as though we’d been caught.If anyone was caught doing something, it was Archer being an idiot.He sent me a glare, which I knew conveyed his displeasure that I hadn’t agreed to be waterboarded by the commissioner.
“Gentlemen.Sorry to keep you waiting.”Commissioner Hayes, a heavyset man with dull eyes and an affinity for New York State-themed ties, entered the room.Today’s tie was bright blue with various imprints of the state outline across it.
“No worries at all.”We stood and shook hands with him then settled back into our seats.An empty desk sat between us.“Thanks for taking the time to meet with us today," I added.
"Have you had a chance to take a look at the report we sent?”Archer asked.
Commissioner Hayes interlaced his fingers on the surface of the desk.“At your request, I had it reviewed by our top examiners once more.It turns out there was some oversight in the initial permit application process.What was deemed a permissible level of environmental impact has actually turned out to be impermissible.”
Commissioner Hayes went on to describe the ways in which his office had accidentally granted permission.By the end of it, the message was clear.
We weren’t getting this permit.
My stomach was a solid brick of anxiety.
“I understand this was a mistake on your office’s part,” I said, “but you have to understand that we have millions of dollars invested in this project based on your office’s approval.”
“We will get sued if we can’t adhere to our timeline,” Archer added, a little less politely than I would have liked.
“Have you truly looked at the files we sent?”I wasn’t above begging.Hell, I’d get waterboarded at this point.“The Hudson Heights project.The Manhattan Commons.The renovation of the Hildebrandt Tower.These were all approved within the last eighteen months with the exact same environmental impact ratings.Why was our project singled out?”
Commissioner Hayes shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat.“Like I said, gentlemen, the office made a premature assessment and then corrected it.”
“You haven’t even given us a path forward,” I said.“Your office would rather let an entire underutilized tower sit there and deteriorate instead of turning it into the iconic flagship hotel for one of the nation’s most prestigious hoteliers.A brand that welcomes millions of tourists to New York state every year.”
Commissioner Hayes drew a tense breath.For a moment, nobody spoke, moved, or blinked.
What the fuck were we supposed to do from here?
“I think it’s time to involve the lawyers,” Archer said in a low voice as he looked my way, though I could tell he meant for Commissioner Hayes to overhear it.
“I think you’re right.”I sighed, adjusting my suit coat.“Commissioner Hayes, I know you want the best for our city.I’ve long admired your work, and I voted for our mayor.I cheered when he appointed you to this position.I’ve been a fan of yours since the beginning, and I know you understand when I say something ain’t right here.”
