As I assessed the spacious emptiness, I tried to bring myself back to Earth.We accelerated the timeline.It should have felt like a victory.A necessary step to access the money I needed, to fight the battle that mattered.
Instead, all I could think about was how right it felt with the two of them at my side.
Clara and Mia were the wife and daughter I’d never realized I’d always wanted.
And every day with them made it harder to remember that this had been designed with an end date.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CLARA
Two weeks.
That’s how long we had to wait for an appointment.Even Nash’s connections within the city couldn’t speed up the process.We existed in this sexy-sweet limbo: going through the public-facing motions, appearing for the lunch dates, visiting the Queens neighborhood to look at the properties and meet with residents, and punctuating every meet-up with scorching detours to the bed, sometimes for hours, sometimes for a full day.
I was lost in the reverie, fully.I no longer had edges between where the contract began and my true feelings for Nash ended.So when we arrived at the austere city hall building on the date of our wedding ceremony, everything felt surreal.
The clouds in the sky were 3-D.The May air whipping through the streets was fragrant and heady.The man at my side, looking down at me like there’d never been a contract between us, felt like the most perfect partner I could have prayed for.
"You ready for this?"Zoey whispered on my left, linking her arm through mine as we climbed the steps.She'd taken the morning off work to be here, and I was grateful beyond words.Having her beside me made this feel slightly less insane.Mia hopped up the steps ahead of us, while Nash squeezed my right hand and never left my side.Trojan trailed behind us, scanning the area always.
"I'm fine," I lied.
Zoey tugged at my wrist, gesturing for me to slow down so she could speak to me privately.Nash continued, keeping an eye on Mia.
"Are you sure you want to do it this way?"Zoey asked, her eyes wide with concern.
“I do.It’s our second chance, Zoey.What can I say?I love this man.”My throat went tight as soon as the words escaped me.I’d managed to avoid the L-word until now.
“You’re glowing.I’ve never seen you like this before.I just wanted to make sure there’s no reason for rushing.”
“No reason for the rush,” I assured her, giving her hands an appreciative squeeze.A part of me was aware of the blatant lie passing my lips, but the guilt felt more distant now.Less threatening.“It’s not like he’s marrying me for my money, after all.”
We shared a laugh.Then Zoey wrapped me in a big hug.
“I can’t wait to see you get married to that hunk.And who knows—maybe I’ll be here next with his brother,” she cracked.
We giggled and hurried up the steps to reach Nash and Mia at the top.When I looked at him, handsome beyond words in a navy blue suit that made his eyes look even more striking, her little body perched in his arms, the air went out of me.I’d never seen such a precious sight.And more than anything else, it looked so natural.
My throat went tight again.Was the whole day going to be this emotional?
“Sorry for the delay,” I said, grabbing his hand as we breezed inside the building.I glanced down at my simple cream wrap dress that Nash had picked out for the occasion, brushing off a speck of dust.I felt beautiful and ready to get married.But there was one important order of business to finish first.
“There you are!”Archer’s confident voice echoed through the marble foyer as we strode inside.Once my eyes adjusted to the inside lighting, I spotted Archer and the guest of honor today: Nash and Archer’s mother.
She was a head shorter than her boys, dressed in a sophisticated blouse and slack combo.In lieu of a greeting, she marched toward me with open arms and embraced me with big smile.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” she crooned into my ear.“I’m Teri, your almost mother-in-law.”When she pulled back, she had tears in her eyes.“I can’t believe I’m saying these words.I never thought I’d see this day.”
“It’s so lovely to meet you, Teri,” I said, squeezing her hand.Now I had tears in my eyes.After she pulled Nash into a long, tight hug, we introduced Mia and Zoey.
“I was blessed with two boys, but I always wanted a daughter,” Teri said after pinching Mia’s cheek and looking at her like she was sent from Heaven.“And now I’m getting not only a daughter, but agranddaughter.”
Her words sent something strange and hot thundering through me.For a split second I thought I might pass out.This was wrong.All wrong.We weren’t just lying to my best friend, we were lying to hismother.This angel of a woman who had longed for a daughter and granddaughter.What the hell were we thinking?We’d break this woman’s heart at the end of the year when we divorced, and that might end up being one of the biggest casualties of all.
From there all I could think about was my own mother.My best friend.My guide, my rock, the woman who was taken from me too soon when I was seventeen years old.Cancer had stolen her from me, leaving my cold stepfather and disinterested family members to utterly fail to fill her shoes.Her not being here today was one thing; knowing that I would have had to lie to her, just like I was lying to Teri, sent a special type of heartbreak cascading through me.
Now the tears were coming, but for all the wrong reasons.
