"Holy fucking shit."Archer's voice seemed to come from very far away."So that's it?You just…don’t get it?”
"Two billion dollars.Gone."The words tasted like ash."We don’t even get to find out who our fucking family is.”
The words hung in the air between us like a rancid smell we couldn’t get rid of.
"We said fuck them.Remember?And listen, we can work with this.”Archer pulled out his phone, already switching into crisis mode.“We sell the Connecticut properties.Maybe the Miami condos too.That'll free up enough to keep fighting Cross for a few more months, if the Gideon project doesn’t go through."
"It won't be enough."
"Then we find investors.We pitch the Gideon project to private equity—"
"Who's going to invest in a project that doesn't have permits?That's stuck in a lawsuit with the city?"I shook my head."We're dead in the water, Arch."
"So what, we just give up?Let Cross win?Let those families in Queens get displaced?"
"I don't know!"The words came out sharp, frustrated."I don't know what we do.I don't know how to fix this.”I stood abruptly, some thoughts finally congealing within me.“I need to go.”
"Where are you going?"
"To my penthouse.I need to tell Clara."The words felt heavy, final.Like a eulogy."She should hear it from me."
Archer looked worried, like he didn’t fully believe me.“What are you going to tell her?”
I shrugged.“The truth.”When he looked like he was about to start chastising me about Clara again, I added, "Just start running those numbers.Figure out what we can liquidate.I'll be back as soon as I can."
The penthouse was quiet when I walked in.As soon as I shut the door behind me, regret washed over me.Being here, beinghome, in the place that had become ours, made me forget all this tension and stress and disappointment.
"Clara?"I called out, heading into the living room.I listened for a sign that she was here, but all I could hear was the thumping of my own heart.Urging me to find her, pull her into my arms, and beg for her forgiveness.
But that didn’t make sense to my head.
And the war within me continued.
Clara walked through the kitchen, eyes red-rimmed, wearing a loose shirt and sweatpants.She stopped before reaching the foyer, like maybe she wasn’t sure I was real.As my gaze washed over her, all I could hear was the urging of my heart.Urging me to go to her, pull her into my arms, and never let go.
But walking further down that path would only bring more pain.More chances for disappointment, for failure.I’d learned this already.How many more times did I need to learn it?With her, it had happened twice.
I wasn’t dumb enough to let it happen a third time.
"Nash."Her voice was hoarse."You came back."
"We need to talk."
She nodded, wrapping her arms around herself.“Yeah, I’ve been saying that for the past three days."
"A representative from the committee called."I stayed in the foyer, needing the distance.My heart and head were waging war right now, and I had no idea which one was going to win."They told me they made their decision already, without an interview.They found out about the contract."
Her face fell, lips turning downward."Oh, no.That’s not—fuck."
"Yep.It's over.We lost."Each word came out flat, emotionless.
She covered her mouth with a hand, eyes welling with tears."Nash, I'm so sorry.I didn't know they would find out.I had hoped…I…I just didn’t think…"
"No.You didn't think."My words were ice, because that’s what I was used to.And in that moment, I knew my brain had won the battle."You didn't think about involving me.You didn't think I deserved to be a part of that."
She shook her head."It wasn't like that!Preston's lawyers— Somehow, they knew.Or suspected.Heather said it was going to come out whether we liked it or not.It was about Mia.I would burn this penthouse to the ground for Mia."
"You should have called me.You should have told me what was happening."The anger was surging again, reminding me of why my head knew it was better to step away from this altogether.“You made decisions about this marriage without me.Decisions that affectall of us.”
