Winnie: Not for a few days probably.
Jamie: What happened?
Winnie: I told you, I’ll be fine.You should worry about Tali, not me.
I swallow hard as reality crashes into me.She’s pulling away from me.She’s pushing me out of her life and I have a feeling I'm the one to blame.
I never asked her if she was ok.I never let her give her side of the story.I jumped to conclusions because I was terrified of something happening to my daughter.Today was my worst nightmare come to life.It was everything I’ve ever feared.
‘Why does it feel like I'm losing you?’
Wheeler’s words rush through my head and I can't help but feel the same way.I'm losing her and I don’t know how to stop it.
Jamie: Answer your phone.
I call her again and again, but she doesn’t answer.After the third try, it goes straight to voicemail.She turned off her phone because she doesn’t want to talk to me.
How did I mess this up so quickly?Twelve hours ago, I was the happiest I’ve ever been, now I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest and I can do nothing to stop it.
Chapter 26
Winnie
“Areyouevergoingto let him apologize?”Liliana asks softly.
“No.I know where I stand with him and I think it’s better if I just leave now… Are you sure he’s at work?”I glance at his house at the end of the street and pray he isn't there.I don’t have the energy to get into an argument with him right now.I just want to get a bag of things to hold me over for a few weeks.
“Yeah, I called Smithy.He’s been taking Tali to the stadium for practices and she sits with Macy or Charlie.He’s lucky they’ve had home games since you went into the hospital, but I don’t know what he’ll do when they go away next week.”
“I don’t know.I don’t want to think about that right now,” I groan, covering my face with my hands.
“Are you walking away forever?”
“No… I don’t know!Maybe it’s better if I do.”
“Better for who?”Liliana pins me with a look as we pull into Jamie’s driveway.
“Everyone!We fell too hard and too fast.This was doomed from the beginning.And Tali isn't my daughter, Lils.I’ve never had an issue keeping that in mind, but with Tali, I do.I view her as my daughter and Jamie’s right.I pushed and pushed until he did what I thought was best, but I'm not her mother.”
I climb out of the car, holding my side as I go.I'm still in pain, but I refuse to recover here.I can go somewhere else and give us both time to think.Time away from each other to figure out what we really want.
I unlock the front door and head straight to my room.I don’t want to spend time in the living room or see anything that will remind me of Jamie.I grab a duffle bag out of my closet and start shoving clothes in it before Liliana even enters my room.
“Don’t you dare let everything he said impact what you do.Emotions were high that night, Winnie.He was destroyed when he got to the hospital.He didn’t know what happened to Tali or why the two of you were in the hospital.He was so tunnel visioned; he couldn’t think straight.”
“It doesn’t matter.What he said… He wasn’t wrong.Just because it hurt to hear doesn’t mean it was wrong.”
“Are you ever going to talk to him or are you just going to run away because you started getting feelings that were too strong for your liking?”She places her hands on her hips and stares me down.
“Excuse me?”
“C’mon, Winnie!We both know when feelings get too strong, you run.You’re so worried about someone breaking your heart, so you break theirs first.If you’re the one to end things, you can't get hurt.You’ve done it to Wheeler countless times.”
“That’s not what happened with Wheeler,” I mumble as I zipper up the bag and head into my bathroom to grab a few things.I might need to make an online order to have some things delivered to me because my toothbrush and most of my other toiletries are in Jamie’s bathroom, but I can't bring myself to go in there.
Seeing his bed and knowing I’ll never get to sleep in it ever again will hurt too much.I know if I start crying, I’ll never stop.
“Are you kidding me!I don’t know why you won't let yourself be happy.You deserve to find a man who loves you, but you won’t let it happen!You’re constantly sabotaging your own happily ever after.”
