Winnie: Have fun eating alone tonight.I’ll be enjoying a homemade dinner with Winnie and my daughter.– Schmidt
Winnie: PS – You feel like you’re losing her because you are.Also, I do have a chef and he makes enough food for Winnie too.But if cooking makes her happy, she’s always welcome to cook and I’ll happily enjoy whatever she wants to share with me.
I glance over at Jamie as I blink back more tears.I'm not sure if he’s just putting Wheeler in his place or if there’s more to his words.Either way, I’ve never had someone stand up like that for me.I’ve never felt so cared for.I could get used to this a little too easily.Man, I want the type of man he described in his texts to Wheeler.I wonder if that man still exists inside of him.
Chapter 13
Schmidt
Icanfeelherwatching me, but I keep my attention on the TV even though I'm really not paying attention to it.I'm sure she’s read the text messages by now and I'm not sure how she’ll respond.
She might get angry at me for putting Wheeler in his place, but he deserves it.He can't pull this crap and not expect some sort of backlash.If he’s so worried I'm not taking care of her, he’s about to get real surprised.I guarantee I take better care of her than he ever could.
What everyone fails to realize is even though I don’t date, I have in the past.I fell in love with Ellie when we were young.I made sure to treat her right and give her the life she always dreamed of.Just because I don’t currently have a woman in my life doesn’t mean I don’t know how to treat one like she’s the center of my world.
And Winnie would be easy to love.She could easily become the center of my world with Tali.Seeing the way she is with Tali makes it even easier to care about her.She doesn’t try to act like Tali’s her daughter, but I can tell she loves her like she is.
I’m staring at the TV, not really seeing it.My mind is lost in a world where Winnie could be more than my nanny.More than someone who lives with me.More than a friend.
A little while later, Winnie drops onto the sofa next to me.She sits close to me, but not as close as I’d like her to be.
“Do you like watching reality TV?”The amusement in her voice has me snapping back to the present.
“Not at all.I was lost in thought and not really paying attention to what was on.”I scrub a hand down my face, mentally facepalming myself.How was I that out of it?
Because you’re obsessed with your nanny.
I shake my head, trying to erase any thoughts of Winnie and how amazing she is.I need to remind myself she’s just my nanny and will never be anything more.We won't have some secret relationship.We won't fall in love and become a real family.This is strictly a boss and employee scenario.
“I get it.I do that quite often,” she sighs and leans back onto the couch.It’s taking everything in me to stay where I am and not drape my arm over her shoulders so I can pull her into my side.“Thank you for responding to Wheeler.You really didn’t have to do that.You might’ve just made your life more difficult though.”
“Why?”I glance down at her, finding her big blue eyes already on my face.
“Because he’s livid.I finally drew a line in the sand and he doesn’t like what side he’s on.”
“What happened between the two of you?”I ask softly.I’ve been trying to figure this out since I was told they used to date and she doesn’t seem to want to share any details.
“I don’t know, I think I just changed.”She lifts her shoulders in a shrug and lets them fall back into place.“We started dating in college and everything was great.I thought I loved him and he was so attentive.”
“Then?”I push, knowing she needs it.
“Then my parents got divorced.I saw how much it destroyed my dad and I don’t know… I realized I didn’t love Wheeler enough.When he realized he had a shot at going pro, he focused all of his energy on baseball.I don’t blame him for that, but we grew apart.I knew I didn’t want to follow him.I still cared about him, but if I was forced to follow him through the minors instead of doing my own thing, I’d end up resenting him.Wow, I sound terrible.”She lets out a humorless laugh and shakes her head.
“You do not.You sound like someone who realized things about yourself and rather than lead someone on, you did what was best for you.If everyone was that self-aware, there’d be a lot less misery in the world.”I squeeze her hand resting between the two of us and she nods her head.
“I thought Wheeler would spend a while in the minor leagues, but he didn’t.He got called up to the majors pretty quickly.I was still here since I was working for the Marshall family.I didn’t want to leave them and that’s part of the reason I refused to follow him… Somehow when Wheeler returned, we kept falling into the same routines.We’d get tired of being single and call each other up.We’d hook up a few times and when he started expecting things from me, I’d disappear.I didn’t want to date him or give him any false hope, but we were good together.”
“Until you weren’t?”I turn so I'm facing her a little more and watch her carefully.If she starts crying again, I'm tugging her into my arms.I don’t care if I should be keeping my distance.I won't let her tears fall as she sits there alone.
“Yeah.Since he went pro, he seemed to expect more.Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy, but he wants me to commit to him, without getting married.He doesn’t want a family.Not for a long time at least.He wants a pretty girl consistently on his arm for the media.I'm not sure he wants more than that.I want a man who loves me, not just someone who wants my body.I was dumb to let things go so far physically with us.”
“Clearly you know what I think after reading the texts.I know he’ll be angry, but he needs to grow up.I’ve been friends with him since we started working together, but he’s always been immature.Until he becomes a real man, he’ll never be what you want in life and that’s ok.”
“So, you’re telling me I need to find a real man?”Her lips lift into a lopsided grin as she stares up at me, her voice is full of amusement.
“I think it’s the only way you’ll be happy.”I shrug.“Most women are unhappy because they’re chasing boys around.”
“And where do I find a real man?The bar?”
