Anna winced. She should never have mentioned that to her mother. Knowing her parents, they would have had hopes almost as high as her own. And now they, too, would be disappointed.
‘It wasn’t really a date, Mum. We went to a restaurant but … we didn’t like it.’ Her mother would no doubt read more into that and she wouldn’t be wrong. But it did save Anna from actually saying the words out loud. ‘So we ended up eating Chinese al fresco. Then, on the way home, we saw a bushfire. We drove up into the hills so Justin could report it and stayed a while to help.’
‘Well, he’s a good man to act so responsibly, even if it wasn’t much of a night out for you.’
‘He is a good man, but I don’t think we’re likely to date again. And that’s fine.’ If she said the words out loud often enough, she might convince her traitorous heart to believe it.
‘As long as you’re all right. That’s all your father and I care about.’
‘I’m fine, Mum.’
They talked for a while, then Anna ended the call. She sat for a few minutes, staring at nothing. Finally, she reached for her beer, but the can was empty. Automatically, she went to the fridge, but stopped with her hand on the door.
This was too familiar. After the accident, she had hidden herself for a long time. Too many reactions like the other night in that restaurant had made her not simply unwilling to face people, but psychologically unable to do it. Especially strangers. She sat at home night after night and, yes, there were nights when she’d drunk a lot to try to escape the pain. Not so much the physical pain, although that had taken a long time to fade, but also the emotional pain, which she suspected was still with her.
She was not going to go down that route again.
If a rider was supposed to get back on a horse after a fall, then she probably should do the same. She headed for the shower. She would go into the Ridge for dinner at the pub. Everyone there knew her. They had all seen the scars. She could face them. And maybe Justin would be there too. He had to eat, didn’t he?
***
When she arrived, the pub car park was almost full. There would be a lot of people about tonight. She almost changed her mind, but then firmly removed the key from the ignition. If she couldn’t face the people from her own community, she was lost. She walked with a determined stride towards the bar. A few people looked up as she walked in and they greeted her with a nod or a raised hand. She went to the bar, where Deb was serving drinks.
‘Hi, Anna, what can I get you?’
‘Light beer, please.’
‘Coming up.’
Anna took a slow look around the room. She told herself she wasn’t looking for anyone in particular, but she couldn’t help but notice there was no sign of Justin. His brother, however, was there, playing pool. She watched as Ben miscued while taking an easy shot. His fellow players laughed and he shrugged, before reaching for a drink. He looked drunk. Anna turned her body so he was less likely to recognise her. After their encounter two nights ago, she wasn’t ready to face him. She did, however, feel like talking, and looked around for someone to join.
Most of the people in the room were her clients: property owners, townsfolk with pets she treated, stud managers. Even the black lab curled up in the corner of the bar was a client, a puppy being reared by Jake to eventually become a guide dog. Clients. Lots of them. But what about friends? Was there one table she could just go and join? Not really, because she didn’t socialise much. Not at all, to be honest. There wasn’t a single person in this bar who she had invited into her home. Not one whose home she had visited for dinner or a barbecue. She saw them socially once a year at the town dance and occasionally when visiting the mobile library, but that was by chance not design.
The shocking truth struck home. Happy as she was working and living here in Wagtail Ridge, she did not have one person she would really call a friend. Not someone she could talk to about personal matters. Not one shoulder she could cry on when she felt the need. The town was full of good people who had welcomed her when she arrived, so the fault was hers. Her habit of hiding because of the scar on her face.
Raised voices from the vicinity of the pool table broke through those disquieting thoughts. She glanced over as the sound of glass shattering caused silence in the busy room. Ben was holding the edge of the pool table, his feet surrounded by broken glass and spilt beer. One of his companions reached out to help him, but Ben shrugged off his arm.
‘’M orright,’ he slurred loudly enough for the whole room to hear.
The silence in the room was palpable. Then Ben pulled himself upright and staggered to the bar.
‘Another beer.’
Deb shook her head. ‘I don’t think so. You’ve been hitting it pretty hard. You should probably go home. Or I can get you some coffee.’
‘Don’t want coffee. I want beer.’
‘Ben. I said no.’
Before Ben could react, Justin came through the pub’s open door. With one glance, he appeared to understand exactly what was going on. He didn’t even look at anyone else in the room, but made his way straight to his brother’s side.
‘C’mon, mate. Let’s head home.’
‘Hey. Big brother. Lemme buy you a beer.’
‘I’m all right, little brother. And you’re smashed. Say goodnight to Deb and we’ll get you home while you can still walk.’ Justin turned to Deb. ‘Sorry. I’ll come back tomorrow and pay for the damage.’
Deb dismissed his offer with a wave of her hand.
