She handed him the plain water and they sat in silence until the meal was done. Anna started to gather the empty food containers, but Justin put his hand on hers to still them.
‘I am sorry about tonight,’ he said. ‘It never occurred to me that people could be … Well, like that.’
‘Why should you? Have you looked in a mirror recently? You’re never going to scare small children on the street.’
‘And neither are you. You’re a beautiful woman, Anna. Don’t you believe that?’
‘Despite the scar?’
‘The scar is part of who you are. When I look at you, I see nothing but beauty. Inside and out.’
Anna didn’t reply. He wondered if she believed him.
***
‘It’s my own fault, you know. The scar.’ Her own words caught Anna very much by surprise. She didn’t talk about that day. She did her best to not even think about it. When people asked, and some did, she brushed their curiosity off with a few practised lines that gave no hint of the pain that lay behind them. But tonight, wrapped in the warm darkness by the river, and the comfort that came from Justin, the words she had never really spoken were hovering on the tip of her tongue, filled with pain and the regret she seldom allowed into her heart.
‘You don’t have to tell me unless you want to.’
She did want to. She didn’t know how much of that day she wanted to tell him, but the words would come, or not.
‘I was in South Australia. Only a year out of uni. I’d been working at a large animal clinic, mostly dealing with cattle, which was new for me. I hadn’t grown up on a farm, and I found working with cattle to be exciting and interesting. I was learning so much. Not as much as I thought, and not as much as I needed, as it turned out.’
She took a swig from her water bottle. Justin said nothing. She didn’t look at him, but kept her eyes fixed on the sparkling moonlight on the water.
‘There was an accident. A truck carrying rodeo bulls. I was the only vet at the surgery when the call came through, so I went. It was horrible. The truck had rolled down an embankment. There were two animals in the back.’
As the memory rushed back, Anna forced her eyes wide open, because she knew if she closed them, she would see all the horror as clearly as she had that day.
‘One of the animals was already dead. It was so badly injured, the police had put it out of its pain. The other one, though … it was hurt, but I thought there was a good chance of saving him. I was still very new at this. I’d never had to put an animal down and I didn’t want to do that to the bull. Another of the vets, one with more experience, was on his way to join me. I was sure between us, we could save it. But the animal was bleeding and in so much pain. Between the shock and fear and pain, and the dead animal lying next to it, the bull was panicking. It kept thrashing around, and each time it did, it made its injuries worse. I looked in my kit, but I didn’t have any tranquilliser. I decided I could somehow give the poor creature painkillers without tranqing him. I was an idiot.’
‘You were trying to help.’
‘But I didn’t. I made matters worse. He was still for a short time and I thought I could get close enough to do it. Just as I was about to stick the needle in, he went berserk. Not at me, as such, at everything. I was trapped for a few seconds, crushed against the side of the trailer. His horns had been tipped, but that didn’t save my face. I had other injuries too. The driver and police pulled me free. They could have been hurt too. All because of my stupidity and pride.’
Her hands were shaking. She longed to reach out to Justin to help them steady. But she couldn’t. She had to finish. Just a few more words …
‘They destroyed the bull. I heard the shot as I was being loaded into the ambulance. Even now, I think, if I’d made better decisions, perhaps that animal might have survived. So maybe this scar is here as a reminder to me not to be so arrogant and thoughtless.’
‘I don’t see it that way.’
She risked a glance at him. His eyes were fixed on her face, not on the scar, but as his eyes met hers, she looked away again. She hated seeing pity in the eyes of others. She’d seen it in the doctors and nurses at that hospital. In her boyfriend’s eyes, in the days before he left her. And in her parents’ eyes too. That was one of the reasons she’d moved so far away. She couldn’t stand seeing that pity every single day. If she saw it in Justin’s eyes too, that would be the worst part of this whole sad story.
‘Now I know what happened, every time I see that scar, it will remind me of your courage in trying to save that poor creature. Your strength in dealing with what followed. And how much you feel for the creatures in your care.’
Anna held her breath as Justin’s fingers cupped her chin and turned her to face him. There was no pity in his eyes. Just … admiration. Or was it something more? He leaned closer and gently touched his lips to the scar on her cheek.
The tightness that had wrapped itself around her all those years ago loosened. Just a little. Like a stiff knot that was beginning to unravel. For the first time she began to hope that, if she tried, it might loosen a little more. Then a little more. And maybe one day, a few weeks or months from now, she would open her eyes in the morning and the knot would be gone. She wouldn’t avoid mirrors any more.
CHAPTER
17
‘Justin. Look. There’s a fire.’
Justin took his eyes off the beam of light on the road ahead of them and glanced towards the ridge to his right. It was only the faintest glow, but even in the few seconds he looked at it, the light became stronger.
‘You’re right.’ How could he have missed it? They had been driving home in companionable silence, each lost in their own thoughts. His mind was engrossed with his evening with Anna. His heart had been touched by the story of her bravery and her pain. His lips remembered the soft skin of her cheek. Soft skin, but rough and uneven where the scar cut through it. Part of his soul cringed every time he thought of what had happened to her, while part of his heart warmed at the way she had so willingly shared it with him. Trusted him with something that was so very personal to her. The date had not gone as planned, but it was not the disaster some might consider it. The evening had been wonderful and touching in ways he could never have imagined.
