He readied himself to turn away for good. To give her what she wanted.
But...
Just one last try.
“I do not expect anything from you,” he said. “Never, Ezer. Your choices are your own to make. I am asking – I’ll beg if I have to – if you will forgive me. If you will trust me again. Because I’ve lived my entire life in the Citadel afraid of making mistakes. When we make them here...we pay. When we make them against the gods, our eternity is on the line. Our magic.”
He looked at his own hands. He frowned, as if he could feel the emptiness inside of them. But it was reallyherhe was thinking of.
It was really the thought of never holding her again.
“I’m asking for grace.” His voice cracked. He was crying now, and he didn’t care. “Something I have never known. From anyone.”
For a moment, it was silent.
He swore she could hear his heart beating out of his chest.
“We shouldn’t do this,” she whispered. “It’s forbidden.”
“I know,” he said.
And he wanted to back away. He knew heshouldback away. It was what the laws required. It was what...he thought…Vivorr wanted.
But suddenly he found himself reaching for her. He found himself needing to borrow her strength, because he had none.
He ran a hand down her cheek, shivering at the feel of her. He traced the shape of her neck, down to her collarbone.
And he was on fire again, just like that.
Like she was the energy he’d needed. Like she waslife,when he was on the verge of an emotional death.
And it was through pain, through desperation, that he offered up his final words.
“I cannot live my life, Ezer, not knowing what it was like to have you. I’ll pay the penance. I’ll pay it a thousand times, if it means one night together. One night...where we arefreeto love who we please.”
And there it was again, that word.
Love.
He loved her.
He loved her in a way that was honest and pure and true, and he wouldn’t dare think of it as anything but.
She wasn’t Soraya.
She never would be. And thank the gods for it, because this woman standing before him?
She was everything he’d evermissedin his life. She was freedom and fierceness and fire. Soraya had boasted those things, too, but she was burdened by a heart that wasneverhis to take.
She hadn’t loved him.
She hadn’t wanted him. She hadneverlooked at him the way Ezer did.
She stared up at him, and she was scarred and broken like he was, and she was so godsdamned beautiful his heart ached.
And he swore...
He swore, deep inside of him, his blood began to heat. And his magic winkedopen an eye again, as if it had caught a spark, and it wanted to come back to life on its own.
