The memory of that night was an unhealed, festering wound.
He’d not considered how Soraya’s defecting would have wounded Indriya, too...and everyone else who’d known her.
Her defecting had scarred them all in different ways.
It was selfish of him to assume he was the only one.
“You’re refusing to face your feelings,” Indriya said, as she placed a hand on Arawn’s shoulder.
He flinched on instinct, because he wasn’t used to being touched.
And in his mind, he suddenly got a flashing image of a face.
It was Soraya’s....
And then it morphed into a woman with three scars upon her cheek.
Why?he asked his god.Why torture me with someone who looks so much like her?
Did Kinlear feel the same, when he looked at Ezer?
Did he feel that stab of familiarity...and then pain, white hot and eager to devour him whole?
“Sorry,” Indriya said, as she pulled her hand away.
“It’s...difficult,” Arawn explained. “Being home.”
Home without Soraya.
But now withEzer.
He hardly knew the Ravenminder, turned trainer of a bloodthirsty beast.
And yet...he couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d looked, so fearlessly unafraid in the woods. Like the shadow wolf attack had done nothing to shake her.
He couldn’t get her out of his brain. And it felt like something he needed to pay penance for.
You feel nothing.
Your mind and your heart are empty.
You cannot fail.
You mustneverfail again.
“We’ve given you time,” Indriya said softly, her voice barely a whisper. “We’ve given you space. But...weneedyou back, Arawn.”
“I’m back. It’s just that my magic is taking?—”
“I don’t give adamnabout your magic,” Indriya growled, her hand going to the pommel of her sword. An instinctive flinch, when any Sacred was forced to face their feelings. They were not supposed tofeel. They were supposed to push it all down, give it all away to the Five...and fight.
Nothing butfight,for the rest of their lives until they died like his father.
Loyal to their bones.
Nothing but a memory and a sword in the snow.
“None of us in the aerie cares about the magic, and you know as well as I do that you’re worthtensoldiers, even without a single flame on your fingertips. It isn’t that at all.”
