Arawn stood, shaken, as he realized the hour. “It’s almost time to go up.” He put his cloak back on, the white fabric settling around him as he picked up his training sword. “Are you coming?”
The sun would set soon, and they’d both be expected to stand at the cliffside above the Citadel and see their father off for the next night of war.
Kinlear stood, wincing as his leg screamed in pain. Arawn wanted to help him, but he knew Kinlear would object, as he always did. Like he needed to prove a point.
The door to the room swung open.
“We’ll be late,” the queen said as she swept inside, white robes billowing. Her crown was sharp as a knife upon her pale head. “If we don’t lea?—”
Her words trailed off as she caught both boys standing there...on either side of the table that held Kinlear’s sketch.
And something inside of Arawnsnappedat the fury in her gaze.
He lunged for the parchment at the same time Kinlear did, but their hands fumbled against one another. The drawing fell, almost in slow motion, where it lay face up on the ornate rug.
The darksoul claws were bold and menacing in the light of the fire. The shadows seemed to squirm, as if given life.
No,Arawn thought.No, no, no.
Because all he could see was Kinlear hobbling towards the library again, already broken. Already in pain, and it didn’t even seem like the Masterscaredthat they were about to make him endure more.
As if he hadn’t already paidenough.
“What is this?” their mother hissed. Her eyes hardened, narrowing to near slits. They fell, not on Arawn...but onKinlear.
Time suddenly seemed to slow, and Arawn could picture it all unfolding before him:
He saw Kinlear’s face twisted in pain as the Masters branded him, as smoke rose from his burning skin and they reminded him, again and again, that he wouldneverbe good enough for the Citadel.
That he would always be inferior when it came to keeping their laws.
You made him broken,Arawn thought to the Five, because he knew stepping out of line was Kinlear’s way of fighting back. It was Kinlear’s way of coping, and suddenly he felt sick, dizzy with anger, as he prayed.You made him like this, and still, you continue to break him!
Because when Kinlear paid penance, his illness got worse.
And maybe it made Arawn selfish, and maybe it madehimthe weak one, but he suddenly couldn’t bear the thought of his brother being marked again.
I am loyal to the laws,Arawn told himself.I am loyal to the Five.
I must not make a mistake.
But...no sooner had he thought it, that a lie suddenly left his lips.
As if his heart had stepped across that line of loyalty and made the choice for him.
“I drew it, Mother,” he said.
He sucked in a breath, surprised at his own words. And it almost broke him when her eyes slid tohiminstead. When he felt the shame wash over him, cold as the world outside their Sacred walls.
This was what it was like to be Kinlear. But he’d already done it, already made his choice, so he kept the lie going. He gave it wings to soar.
“I am trying to better understand my enemy, Mother.” He swallowed, but it was more like a gulp. “So that when I take to the battlefield for the Five...I won’t be burdened by my fear.”
A littlesqueakleft her lips. She turned to his brother. “Is this true, Kinlear? Do not lie to me again.”
The room was spinning.
It was too hot. It was toosmallin here. Kinlear inhaled, but it only made him cough, and Arawn swore he felt the pain in his own chest.
