“You miss him.”
Matt blows out a long breath.“Yup,” he says softly.
“That’s why you don’t let Noah in.”
“I’m trying with him.”
“I know.I can see that,” I say, frowning at him.“But it’s all banter.You keep him at arm’s length.Haven’t you ever wanted to guide a younger driver?”
“Not really,” he says, but I can see his eyelids flicker as he swallows.He’ssolying.
Matt reaches for the coleslaw, fishing around in the bag for a plastic fork.“It’s not Noah’s fault.I worry about getting close to another driver, you know?Stavros practically haunts me on the track,” he says.
“He does?”I ask, turning my head to him.“The flashes?”
“Yep.My best friend.In a blazing fireIcaused.Doesn’t get more nightmarish than that.”
I try to suck in my breath inconspicuously, covering my mouth with my beer, but Matt catches me.
I want to ask him if it’s true he hasn’t been to visit Stavros.But it simply couldn’t be, could it?That he could abandon his best friend like that?I get that I was delusional about how muchourfriendship meant, but Stavros and Matt’s bond seemed legendary.
“It’s okay, Chloe,” he says, reaching up to scratch the back of his head.“I’m ah...I’m already speaking with a therapist.We’re working on it.”
“You are?”
“I am.”
I shake my head in disbelief.“I’m so glad to hear that.Why didn’t you mention this sooner?”
“I know, I should have told you already.I wasn’t planning on tellinganyone, except my brother, of course.”He turns to face me, eyes narrowing.“You know, I forgot how easy you are to talk to.I missed this.”
I mentally feed the half-baked compliment into a shredder, a new trick I’ve employed to survive the torrent of sweet things Matt has said lately.I look out to the pit lane.He’s just being nice.It doesn’t mean what you think it does, Chloe.
“You didn’t miss this?”he prods when I don’t reply.“It’s a shame we lost contact.”
The lack of self-awareness is truly stunning.Stunning enough to make me spit out my beer, laughing.“Oh, okay, Matt.”
“What?”he shoots me a confused look.“I’m serious.Iwas lying in bed the other night, and I remembered your pet rabbit Senna.What happened to Senna?”
“He’s dead,” I say, though I can’t hide my surprise that he remembered.“It’s been, like, ten years, and rabbits only live to about nine.”
“I’m sorry,” he says as he pours out a little of his beer.“Rest in peace, little Senna.It’s shame I wasn’t there for the funeral.”
I laugh at the absurdity of it.“Yeah.You were really missed at my pet rabbit’s funeral,” I say, playing along.
“If I’d known I would have rolled up in my black suit and sunglasses to pay my respects.”
I roll my eyes.“You met him, like, once.And he was a bunny.”
“So?”he asks, grinning.“You talked about him so much, I kept forgetting he was a rabbit.”
I cannot help but laugh.“Wait.Did you think I had an invisible friend, Matt?”
“You were the type,” he says.
“I wasthe type?”I say in mock outrage.
Matt’s face scrunches up and he laughs so hard, no sound comes out until he gasps for air.He reaches for a napkin to cover his face, and his laughter is so infectious that I find myself joining in.“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he splutters.
