I watch as Leo’s eyes flicker between mine, and I catch his hand flexing as he clutches the handrail on the stairs, like if he lets go he’ll fall too. His eyes drop to my lips, and for a second, I wonder if he’s going to kiss me. Then he snaps his head away and stares off into the distance.
“Olive, I think I should go to bed,” he says.
14
I’M IN TROUBLE, Kate,” I say, lying on my side, the phone propped up on a pillow. My head is pounding and my makeup is smeared halfway down my face.
“What’s going on?” she says, closing the door to her office and sitting on the sofa. She’s settling in for a long one, bless my dear friend.
“I got very drunk last night with Leo.”
“Uh-oh,” she says, sipping on her matcha latte.“And?”
I consider telling Kate I am so horny for Leo I feel like I’m a jack-in-the-box, just about ready to spring. That maybe I’m not just horny for him, but that I’m growing to quite like him too. But Kate is too practical. She will remind me that I’m about to fire him. She’ll tell me to put a lid on it. She’ll tell me it’s wrong for me to get involved with him and terribly, terribly messy. And she’d be right.
Better to tell Ginny that part.
“Oh, no. Nothing like that. There’s been what I would call somemomentsbetween us, but you know. Nothing’s happened,” I say, slowly.
“Okay,” she says, pulling a face and then reaching back to put her hair in a ponytail, a sure sign Kate means business.
“I’m starting to question my hasty decision to sell Nicky’s,” I say.
“Right.”
“I never gavemaybea chance. The more I think about it, the more my feelings are not what I expected.”
“What did you expect?”
“I expected to hate the idea completely,” I say, like she should know that. “And then Leo said some things last night that made me wonder if Nicky’s could still work. He saw all the same issues I did. And it’s thrown me a little.”
“I thought you couldn’t wait to sell,” Kate reminds me.
“Yes, a few weeks ago I couldn’t wait to shut the place down,” I say, trying to answer as truthfully as possible. “And I resented Leo for his proximity to Dad over the years. And now those feelings have softened and I guess, naturally, I’m thinking about my decision again.”
“You’re back in his world. It’s not surprising.”
Yes. I am back in his world. And I am remembering the good things about Dad, and our family, and even the restaurant.
“Olive?” Kate says. “You’ve gone quiet.”
“I’m just thinking how complicated it all is,” I say, sighing.
“Oh, Olive,” she says.
“I’m fine. It’s probably just too much Limoncello. And being here. It’s mixed me up. I’m sure if I was back in London and speaking to the Realtors and imagining handing Mum a check I’d feel differently.”
“Well, there’s no hurry, is there? Can’t you just quietly remain open to the idea of keeping Nicky’s? You need to be careful about how you communicate your doubts about selling with Leo,though. Like, honestly, I probably wouldn’t,” she says. “Not until you’re sure.”
“I won’t,” I say, not mentioning the gaffe I’d made asking Leo if he could afford it last night, saying “if” I sell. “I have to cook with him in a few hours, so I’d better pull my shit together.”
“Olive. You can explore keeping Nicky’s,” says Kate. “Just be really clear on why you’re doing it.”
“PASTA CON LEsarde,” says Leo, laying out an onion, a handful of plump garlic, a bunch of fresh sardines, pine nuts, and raisins.
He looks completely divine in a white T-shirt and a blue-and-white-striped kitchen apron. In the cold light of day I realize just how much trouble I am in. His hair is still damp from a shower, and his skin is more sun-kissed than when we arrived. I suddenly have an urge to see him without a T-shirt on.
When he lifts up his hand to scratch his arm, I see the tip of a tattoo I haven’t noticed before peeking out from under his T-shirt sleeve. Something scrawled.
