‘Ish,’ she says, looking irritated as she gently places toasted hazelnuts on the plate. ‘I just wish the word would get out about the relaunch.’
‘Any day, I’m sure,’ I reply. ‘Want a cuppa?’
‘Yep,’ she nods.
James comes in, his chef’s whites unbuttoned, and he’s got that slightly stressed flush to his cheeks.
‘I’m going to head off. See you back here at four?’
I grin at him and he holds my gaze, but something in his look is different from usual. He holds it firmly, with serious eyes, and I narrow mine in return.
‘Can we speak?’ he says in a lower voice.
‘Sure,’ I say. ‘Just making a cuppa.’
‘It’s important,’ he replies, and motions towards the back of the kitchen.
He does lookveryserious, and it makes me anxious. Has something happened? Does he know? I haven’t felt a wave of panic in days, and here it is, as potent as ever.
I nod at him and rub my shaking hands on my apron, then follow him towards the cellar door, but when we’re alone in the back-prep area, he stops. I am momentarily disappointed we’re not going to be alone in the cellar, but try to remain focused.
‘The reviewer, Josh Rippon. It’s tonight,’ he says sharply.
‘Oh shit,’ I reply and then, ‘Oh SHIT!’ I almost shout, realizing Roxy isn’t here to help me. ‘Do I need to do anything?’
‘I’m not sure. Mum is going to stay on between shifts and deep-clean the dining room, and I’m going to rest for an hour and then come back up and double-check every little thing in the kitchen.’
‘Okay,’ I nod, wondering what a sommelier would do to make sure a special guest was catered for, without making too much of a fuss.
‘Well, I guess I’d better prep myself too?’
‘Okay,’ he breathes out. ‘This is it! I’m super-nervous.’
‘You’re going to be great,’ I say, and I reach across and grab his hand in mine. ‘Really. You’re totally awesome. Russell has hardly even been here this week – he must totally trust you now.’
‘He’ll never make it here in time. He’s fuming, apparently.’
‘You can do without the pressure. You’ve totally got this.’
He looks at my hand and slowly runs his thumb along my knuckles. He looks at me as though asking if it’s okay.It’s okay, James, I love it, I think, allowing him to squeeze my hand a little, before I pull it away with a mix of heartache and shame.
‘Heather,’ he says tentatively.
I hold my breath for a moment, but he stops talking and his eyes drop to the floor.
‘Not now,’ I say gently.
He looks up at me and purses his lips. ‘Yeah. Not now,’ he agrees, before glancing back at my lips and murmuring, ‘but soon.’
‘What?’ I say, catching my breath.
‘Soon.’ He pulls back, turns and then he’s gone.
‘Bill?’ I say, knocking on the staffroom toilet. I know he’s in there, and it’s urgent. I knock again.
‘Heather!’ he replies. ‘I’m on the loo, love.’
‘I’m sorry. I’m being really rude. I’ll wait.’
