‘Fuck this!’ I say, laughing now.
‘You must be able to cook something. I don’t buy that you could know that much about wine and not be able to cook at least a spaghetti bolognese,’ says Bill. ‘Let’s start with the basics. Can you open a tin can?’
Everyone is laughing now, and normally in such a situation I would feel a bit prickly, but there’s a warmth to the ribbing.
‘Can you boil an egg?’ Roxy asks.
‘I can make fish and chips,’ I say.
‘Oh, I mean that’s not the easiest. You need to do a batter, and at least twice-cook the chips. There’ssomemethod,’ Anis says generously, and I decide not to explain that I actually meant I could open a plastic bag of frozen pre-battered cod.
There’s a huge gust of wind through the kitchen, and bright sunlight spills onto the floor as a hulking frame fills the doorway. Brett has arrived, rugged and windswept, and yet carrying a very delicate basket filled with what looks like large clover. It’s quite a contrasting sight.
‘Wood sorrel,’ he says, gently placing the basket on the counter.
‘Maybe I should learn to forage for food instead,’ I say.
‘Get Anis to take you – no one knows these banks as well as she does,’ he says, and Anis rolls her eyes, but I’m fairly sure I see a little red in her cheeks.
‘I already have to teach her how to bloody cook,’ Anis says.
‘Now, Heather, you know I’ve already offered,’ says James, flicking a tea towel casually over his shoulder. I look over at him and feel a sweet thrill at being teased by him. I don’t answer right away, but a big smile spreads across my face.
‘Thank fuck for that,’ Anis says, as she picks up the wood sorrel and takes it to the sink to clean. ‘I’m busy enough.’
‘All right everyone, time to get cleaned down,’ Irene says, and our little party disperses. But as I go to leave, she grabs me by the arm.
‘Darling, I really need you to sort out your bank details, so we can set you up on the system.’
‘Absolutely. I’ll get on to it next week,’ I say, nodding. She’s asked me about this a couple of times in the last few days, and I still have no idea what to do about it. I was hoping that three months of rent-free work would mean I could leave with a bit of cash to pay back Heather for the room. Maybe a deposit to rent a flat of my own. But it’s no good if I can’t give her any bank details.
‘Well, let me know, or I can pay you in cash,’ she says. ‘We sometimes pay the European staff in cash; it’s just easier and quicker than getting them set up for a few months over the summer.’
‘Oh well. I mean, if it’s easier,’ I say, feeling the tightening in my chest relax.
‘Great. In the meantime, I know you’re supposed to be having a rest before evening service, but could I trouble you for some advice?’
‘Sure.’
As we walk through the bar area I see Roxy cleaning the table of a very wobbly Izzy Cardiff. She look like she’s had a right knees-up, whereas her husband looks like he might fall asleep at any moment. There is another couple by the window, the lady in a wheelchair, her younger gentleman friend feeding her the lavender ice-cream dish with a spoon.
‘That’s Zelda and Charles,’ Irene whispers. ‘A lovely couple. Shecaneat perfectly well herself, don’t be fooled.’
I follow her through, but we are stopped in the hallway by a fidgety German woman in at least her fifties. ‘Die Toiletten?’ she barks, as she dances from foot to foot like a toddler.
‘Down the hall to the left, Ms Schneider,’ Irene replies loudly, as if Ms Schneider is both foreignandhearing-impaired.
‘So,’ she says, taking a seat at the little round table by the window, ‘I’ve asked all the staff this, but as someone who has worked in London, I figure you will have some ideas.’
‘Shoot,’ I say, plonking down next to her. God, I hope she doesn’t ask me something about wine.
‘With the renovations more or less tied up, we’re looking for ways to attract younger people here,’ she says, sliding her glasses on and looking at me expectantly, her little leather notebook open on the table and a pen in her hand.
I nod earnestly.
‘I wondered if you have any ideas?’
This I can do. ‘Off the top of my head, you definitely need a new website.’
