‘Don’t open it,’ says Bill and he tries to push me away, but I’m not having it. I duck under his arm, turn the knob and push it open.
The room is a mess. I mean a real mess. An empty bottle of wine in the bin. Clothes all over the floor. The bedspread is crumpled and the sheets are clearly unwashed. Next to the bed, without even an attempt to be discreet, is an open porn magazine (I can’t help but notice it’sgot a light-bondage edge to it). A collection of glasses from the main house are scattered on every surface and the top drawer of his dresser is open, with nothing but a pair of tartan pyjama trousers hanging over the edge. The room stinks.
I walk straight to the window and throw it open and the cool breeze gushes in. I turn back to Bill, who looks shamefacedly at the ground and tries to hide the magazine with his feet, then subtly kick it under his bed.
‘I’ve seen a porno before,’ I say, as matter-of-factly as I can. ‘You really ought to get a computer or watch someYoupornon your phone. Less chance of getting caught.’
He giggles, embarrassed. It’s pitiful, and I quickly point to his sheets and tell him to get in.
‘I’m humiliated,’ Bill says with a sudden clarity, and plonks onto the edge of his bed, putting his head in his hands.
‘My dad used to drink too much,’ I say flatly. ‘Does everyone know?’
‘Irene knows.’
‘You need to sober up and start again fresh tomorrow. Day one.’
‘I’m not an alcoholic.’
‘Yeah. Well, I’ve heard that before. Whatever is going on, tomorrow is a new day, and you can’t drink like this at work.’
‘I think I’ve run out of chances,’ he says, smiling as he tries to focus on me.
‘Don’t be a dick.’
‘I have a daughter your age. What are you: thirty? Eloise. Stupid name. I lethername them. I let her choose everything.’
‘Well, that was very kind of you.’
‘Who named you?’ He belches, then covers his mouth. ‘Sorry.’
‘My, uh, mum,’ I say, piling up some used plates and a mug of old tea.
‘But you’re not really Heather,’ he says.
I stop what I’m doing and then put my hand to my mouth. My heart beats a little faster.What did he say? I’m not reallyHeather? Does he mean I don’t suit the name? Bill’s curled up now on the bed, his eyes starting to close. Did he say ‘a’ Heather? Or I’m not reallyHeather.
‘Well, you can’t pick your birth name,’ I say, as he closes his eyes and mumbles something else I can’t make out. ‘What? What are you saying?’
‘It’s a mistake,’ he mumbles again. ‘There was some mistake.’
I think he’s talking about my name, but I’m not sure. I lean down next to him and shake his shoulders. ‘What are you saying?’
‘No more wine,’ he mutters and then his body goes limp.
‘Close your eyes now,’ I say, picking up some of the clothes from the floor and shoving them into a laundry basket. I turn round to look for what to do next to bring some chaos to his disorder, but the job needs a couple of hours, and I have to get to lunch service, and to Irene.
There goes any minute of wine study I’d hoped to cram in. It will have to wait.
‘You’re going to be okay,’ I begin, but he’s already snoring.
15.
I’ve traded in the Heather-sized uniform and now have one that fits me properly, and I feel quite smart. I didn’t have time to do my make-up and perfect my hair, like the other staff seem to spend hours doing before service, but I managed to find time to slap on some tinted moisturizer at least. My hair is washed and left to dry naturally, which is the absolute best for my curls, though nothing can be done about the roots, which are starting to come through. The apron gives me a little bit of extra confidence, as it covers my slightly rounded tummy, and I know I look pretty good from behind.
I clutch my black notebook, which is easily tucked into the large front pocket of my apron, and make my way to the bar area to find Irene. She’s sitting at the far end, with Russell, deep in a conversation that looks serious. I weigh up if losing Bill for a shift would trump whatever vexing thing they’re working on, and opt to wait.
I find Roxy just inside the kitchen, going over the menu with James and the rest of the team, and I realize to my horror I’ve missed the team briefing. I totally forgot, with Bill and everything.
