Slate shrugged. “Probably.”
“No. As your queen, I order you not to sleep outside.” I crossed my arms over my chest, not allowing him to demean himself like that.
Slate grinned, the one that always wrapped itself around my heart. “But I’m your Guardian. Therefore, it is my soulful and eternal duty to protect you at all costs.” He looked around the corridor in haste, making a show of the motion. “You’re in a foreign realm. A foreign kingdom. With a foreign type of people that you never knew even existed until today. I’ll stay outside your door, make sure no one comes in while you sleep. If they try, they’ll have to get past me first.”
I really hated his stupid logic. It made sense, and I didn’t like thatI couldn’t argue it despite how much I knew he only used his Guardian role as an excuse. “I hate you and your rationality.”
“No, you don’t.”
I cast my stare to the floor, unable to hold his knowing eyes. “I do.” The words came out halfhearted, the lie tasting foul on my lips.
“You don’t, and you know it.”
I huffed. “Whatever. Fine. Sleep out here on the floor then, since you insist on being an overdramatic moron. If Hazel were here…” My quip died as quickly as it began.
Hazel…
Slate’s shoulders slumped at the mention of his baby sister. Guilt compounded in my heart, wishing I could shove the words back into my mouth. But he snorted weakly. “She would drag me into the bedroom by my ear and tell me to stop trying to be some heroic dumbass.”
I chuckled. “That…or she’d let you sleep out here all alone on the hard floor and deprive you of a blanket and pillow if you were so determined to prove a point.”
We shared a solemn laugh as we spoke about her for the first time since he’d revealed the truth about her death back at the Hollow. “Gods, I miss her.” My words wavered as hot emotion threatened to make me break apart right there.
“I miss her, too. I wish I could’ve saved her.” Slate cracked his knuckles, one by one. “I never should’ve included her in our plot back then.”
“No, Slate. Don’t.” I grabbed his shoulders to garner his attention. “You know just as well as I do that she would’ve discovered it one way or another and demanded to be informed of everything.”
Slate nodded, his gaze focused on the floor at our feet. “Yeah, that’s kinda what happened anyway, to be honest.”
“Why am I not shocked by this?”
“Because you knew her just as well as I did.” Slate shifted his attention to land on me. I couldn’t remember a time I’d ever seensuch vulnerability and pain buried within them. “Gods, I feel like I’ve failed on all fronts. Chrome, Hazel, the mission…”
“But you haven’t. You couldn’t control what choice Chrome made. Nor could you with Hazel. The mission is still ongoing. You’ve kept me alive and well. You’re doing what you’re meant to do, Slate.”
Slate wrapped his fingers around my hand resting on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you, Gray.”
Without thinking, I slipped my hand free from his and cupped his jaw, caressing the stubble there that began to form.
He leaned into my palm, closing his eyes.
I cleared my throat. “Let me get you a blanket and pillow then.” Before I had to face his eyes again, I withdrew my hand. The feel of his skin left a stinging sensation on my palm. I darted into the room, not even noticing the canopied bed within it. Making a beeline for it, I spotted two plush pillows and an extra blanket. After snatching them up, I bolted back to the threshold and shoved the bedding in his arms.
My arms and legs felt like jelly. Whether it was due to my exhaustion or the mixed range of emotions tumbling through me was unclear. “Goodnight.”
Slate made quick work of setting himself up on the floor with a blanket and pillow. He glanced over his shoulder, a sad longing lingering in his eyes. “Goodnight, Gray. Sleep well.”
“You, too. Or at least…try to.” I cleared my throat before awkwardly shuffling backward into my room and slowly closing the door, which required more effort than I’d expected. The door was fucking heavy.
The door closed, and I released a sharp breath. Dropping my face into my hands, I stood there for several moments to compose myself. What was wrong with me? Why did I feel awkward around Slate after we had sex? I had my closure now. I genuinely didn’t want things to progress into what they once were, but trying to navigate our dynamic from here had me acting like a teenager again.
Slate was my past, and Chrome was my future. Since fleeing the King’s Palace, I’d never been able to move on from that aspect of my former life.
The pain in Chrome’s eyes before he disappeared into a cloud of shadows haunted me. Every time my heart picked up for Slate, I’d see that look again, remembering the desperate kiss we shared when he woke up as himself again. He was still in there, so my hope of permanently restoring him remained alive, despite Brecken’s words assuring me otherwise.
My arms dropped to my side, and I spun around, taking in the room for the first time. Like the rest of the place, it felt ancient and natural. I wondered how many had passed through this room over the centuries. What were their stories?
Vines twisted around the frame of the canopy bed, which was, again, draped with a curtain of greenery. The bed itself was plush. Thick layers of blankets and sheets made up the twin-sized mattress, so I grabbed another blanket and jogged to the door, stopping just as my hand reached for the handle.
