I clasped my fingers together, squeezing them tight in my lap. Feeling like the small, broken version of my teenage self again, I shrugged. “Just hold me?”
One side of Slate’s mouth inched up as he held an arm out. Without thought, I crawled toward him, burrowing my cheek into his chest. His corded arms banded around my shoulders, applying just enough pressure to ensure I was safe but not a prisoner. I breathed him in, inhaling the sandalwood scent that had always calmed me in the past.
“Your heart is beating so fast. Are you okay?” My voice was muffled against the fabric of his shirt, so I was unsure if he understood what I said.
Slate inhaled through his nose, slow and deep as if to settle his heart rate. “I’ve missed this so much. I didn’t think it would ever happen again. To be able to hold you like this against me.”
With my shoulder, I nudged him, signaling for him to lie backward on his pallet.
Slate’s body tensed, but he complied as we comfortably reclined onto our backs. I twisted onto my side, resting my cheek over his heart. Muscle memory took over as I traced my forefinger down the center of his sternum and back up again. It was an old habit, something I’d do to silence my mind years ago. The gesture came instinctively to me until I registered the more defined cuts within his muscles in his abdomen.
Suddenly, my heart spiked, causing me to pause my movement.
“Don’t stop,” Slate mumbled. “It’s so relaxing.”
My breath grew shaky, but I slowly began trailing my fingertip lightly over the front of his torso and chest, a warmth spreading throughout my body.
Several minutes passed, and we both fought to suppress our breaths. In a way, it felt like Slate had returned from a long-awaitedreturn, and we were simply picking up where we’d left off. Thoughts of Chrome lingered, but it would’ve been a lie to say that I didn’t crave a reprieve from his haunting eyes. I needed a distraction. To escape my mind again.
Slowly, I tested the waters by guiding my fingertip up past Slate’s sternum and along his throat. The stubble on his chin had grown longer than I’d ever remembered seeing it. Not quite soft, yet not coarse either. When I inched my fingertip over his bottom lip, he gasped, and I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth. The memory of his lips pressed against mine felt so tangible, like no time had passed at all. I couldn’t help but wonder if he would kiss me in the same way he had in the past. Or would it be different?
“Kiss me,” I whispered, not quite understanding where this was all coming from.
Slate’s head jerked to the side as he searched for any hidden traps I might be laying.
I slid my palm along his cheek, caressing the stubble there as I refamiliarized myself with him.
The yearning in his eyes emboldened me further. I gripped the spot at the back of his neck just below his hairline, pulling his face closer to mine. Our breaths danced together, twining around one another until they formed a unique design of their own.
Closure. I needed closure from him. Even though Chrome and I had something special beyond words or comprehension, it never could heal the part of me that lost Slate. He’d been my lifeline for so long, my best friend. MyGuardian. I never got to say goodbye. Not just to him, but to the old part of myself that died when he disappeared. “Kiss me like you mean it, Slate.”
The willpower he’d been desperately holding onto crumbled as he collapsed, his lips taking mine hostage. He lifted himself up with one arm while lying on his side, sweeping his fingers through my hair at my temples. He guided me to where he could gain better access as he pushed my mouth open with his, taking my bottom lip between his teeth.
Our kiss never broke, one movement slipping into the next. I took his tongue and sucked it, remembering how much he had liked that before. A groan came from his throat, prompting me to sit up to give him more.
Slate’s kisses grew more fervent, more desperate, as he tugged on my hair to angle my head to the side. Warmth set me alight from within, radiating from my chest and outward. When his lips began to rediscover all the most sensitive parts of my neck, I fought to hide the moan. Apparently, that was the wrong move, because Slate’s tongue flicked out, licking down the column of my throat at a torturous pace, just before he stopped at my collarbone.
“I miss your sounds. I need to hear them.” He pressed a series of soft kisses across my shoulder. “But there are people around. So you gotta stay quiet.”
Dazed, I nodded, absorbing every bit of pleasure he had to give my starved body and soul.
“You think you can manage that, Princess?” he asked, hovering his mouth just above my skin, his warm breath skating over the spot I desperately needed his attention instead.
“Yes. Quiet. Got it.”
“Good. You always took my instruction so fucking well, baby,” he said as he leaned back, sending a jolt of frustration through me.
The frustration died away when he took the hem of my shirt, lifted it over my head, and tossed it to the side.
It wasn’t the first time Slate had ever seen my body, not by any stretch of the imagination. But it felt like it. His gaze seemed to absorb every inch of me, taking it in as if he were committing it to memory. “I never thought you could get more beautiful, but I believe you’ll forever amaze me.”
I sat up on my knees, leveling him with a challenging stare, daring him to take this further.
Slate cocked a crooked grin and chuckled. “What do you want, Gray? Tell me. I need to be sure you truly want this. The last thing Iwant is to cause you any guilt or remorse. I’ve done enough harm to you already.”
“I want you to remind me why it’s okay for me to still love you, even though I am madly in love with Chrome, too. I’d go to hell and back for him. I still plan to save him. But I’d do the same for you.” My bottom lip quivered. “But most importantly, I need you to silence my mind. To remind me how strong I am.” What I really needed was comfort and some slice of normalcy. And being lost in Slate, especially given how things had ended between us, seemed like the best option.
Slate’s shoulders vibrated with restraint. “Anything for you,” he whispered, staying conscious of the others sleeping nearby. “But first, I need you to know that for all those years, I held back on you. I couldn’t in good conscience give you all of me, knowing that you belonged to my cousin, especially since you were in the dark about so much. But tonight, now that you know everything…I won’t be holding back.”
