What I couldn’t deny was that the bonds I shared with both men were deep. And now that Slate and I shared the same playing field, it felt different somehow.
When Slate reached me, he swept his gaze over my body from head to toe, lingering his stare on my wobbly legs. He frowned. “Sit. You’re gonna collapse soon. I’ll get a water Elemental to conjure some water for you in a bottle.”
“I already tried to get her to sit, but she refused,” Shadow interjected just as I began to object.
Slate cocked his head to the side. “Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?”
I scoffed. “Because I wanna make sure that everyone will be safe first before I do.”
Slate’s face softened. “It’s safe now, Princess. Onyx and I found a way to combine our magic the same way he and Chrome did to put up wards around the Hollow. It won’t be as strong, of course, but my light magic will manipulate our energy sources from being seen by thermal and light Kinetics, and his thermal energy will manipulateand suppress our energies from other thermal seeking Kinetics.” Slate then looked to Shadow. “Relax, now. You need rest and to replenish.”
I stared at him, gratitude flushing through my frozen insides. “Thank you, Slate,” I whispered, nearly choking on the words from my emotions. He’d just given my people a chance when I couldn’t. “I’m?—”
Slate braced his hands on my upper arms, lowering himself to eye-level with me, sincerity and understanding shining so bright in his warm and comforting gaze. “I promised. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always protect you, like I’ve always said. Elementals are your people. And Chrome’s. If he can’t be here to see them to safety with you, then I’ll do my part to protect them in his stead. Chrome wasn’t just my cousin, Gray. He was as close to a brother as one could be without actually sharing parents. But you—” He exhaled a shaky breath and dropped his gaze to the ground to gather his bearings. When he met my tear-filled eyes again, pain and regret burrowed in his stare. His fingertips dug harder into my arms, not until they hurt, but as if he had to hold himself back. “But you? You will never know just how much love my soul holds for you. That’s never changed. I hope Valik has the answers you need to save Chrome. I truly do, regardless of how much my soul sings your praises. All I want is for you to be happy, baby. No one deserves it more than the two of you.”
I couldn’t bear the vulnerability in his eyes, the pain, the love. I collapsed into his chest, nestling my cheek against his front, and embracing his familiar hug as I did my best to silence my sobs in his hoodie.
“I never got to say goodbye to you, Slate.” My words were muffled, nearly indistinguishable. “One day you were here, and the next you weren’t. I lost not only my first love, but my best friend.”
Slate rested his cheek against the crown of my head. “I know. And I’m so, so sorry. You have no idea how much I wanted to go to you. To comfort you. I knew you’d shut out the world when you thought I died. And I couldn’t stand to see you in pain. Especially when I was the source of it.”
With my ear pressed against his chest, I could hear Slate’s heart. It pounded so rapidly, the way it did when you tried but failed to hold your emotions back.
“Come on,” Slate whispered, sucking in a sharp breath and pulling away. “Let’s go find a spot together with a bit of privacy.” As if without thinking, he leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my hairline.
Like before with Chrome, guilt slithered into my fragile heart and poisoned the healing moment I’d just shared with Slate. Chrome might be Infernal, but he was still alive. How could I allow myself to be so close to another, even if it was Slate, when I was on a mission to save him?
But I realized after everything that had happened in recent days, Slate’s comfort, familiarity, and presence brought me the solace and fortitude I needed. Just as it always had. I had missed it so much. I still missedhim.
Slate wrapped an arm protectively around my shoulder, guiding me toward a small, shadowed opening. I looked behind me at my people. They were already busy settling their belongings and constructing makeshift hospital beds for the wounded. I expected to find Kodiak amongst them, instructing everyone what to do and helping them to get situated, and the image of him being struck down by the griffin resurfaced, causing my heart to wrench. Void sat at Kodiak’s side, cleaning the poison leaking from his mortal wound.
When I turned back to face forward, I nearly crashed into River. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying, and dark circles were bruised beneath her eyes. “I hope you’re happy,” she seethed, her fists squeezed tightly at her side. “This is all your fault. Every single fucking bit. First Blaize, then Chrome, Orion, and now Kodiak.”
Slate tried to step between us and said, “River, now isn’t?—”
I held him back. “No, it’s fine. Let her say what she needs to.”
“I saw you nearly deplete Aella after the attack. Just like you did months ago with Orion in training.” Tears streamed freely down hercheeks, leaving pale streaks behind the dirt and soot staining her native skin.
“But you said that it happens to most of you when you’re still learning how to control your urges…” My voice was barely audible as the blood in my veins drowned out any other noise around us.
River scoffed, crossing her arms. “Forget what I said. That was when I misplaced my belief in you to help our people. Not nearly destroy them! Godsdamnit, Gray! You’re a fucking ball of destruction hellbent on killing off everyone who’s ever given you a chance and trusted you. I won’t be making that same mistake twice.”
River’s words cut deep, digging the proverbial knife deeper into already infected wounds, because she wasn’t wrong. All the death and bloodshed…Chrome…it was my fault. Too exhausted and speechless, I dropped my chin, breaking eye contact with the rage and pain glaring at me, exposing me to the whole world for what I was. A failure.
“I’m so sorry. I—I’ve tried my best.” A tear trickled down the side of my nose, and I watched it plunge to the earth from the tip.
Slate pulled me against him, leaning closely into River’s space. “You have about two seconds to turn around and find somewhere else to be before I forcibly do it myself. I’ve put down far bigger threats against Gray for far less. I won’t hesitate to do the same when someone challenges the authority of their queen. Be upset all you want, but you donotdisrespect your queen. Ever. Am I clear?”
River’s nostrils flared, and her bottom lip trembled. The glare she leveled at Slate said she envisioned thousands of slow deaths for him once she got the opportunity. Her eyes shifted to where his hand rested protectively on my biceps and narrowed. “I thought your light glowed white? Why is it now silver?”
“It’s not. Consider it a trick of light from dawn.” Slate casually shrugged, appearing unbothered, but River continued to scrutinize the light that began to dim from his palm.
“Right,” River said, clearly not convinced. “Try to keep her from costing us any more lives, would you?” she snapped before stormingaway. I watched as she fell into Void’s waiting arms at Kodiak’s side. He pulled her into him, much the same way that Slate held me. They had been progressively growing closer to one another over the past several months, but despite everything she’d just said to me, I was happy she had someone to lean on during difficult times.
“Follow me,” Slate said softly, continuing in the direction we had been heading before River intercepted us. “Let’s go get you some food, water, and then lie down.”
I nodded numbly, River’s words still echoing in my mind. “Okay.”
