Swallowing heavily, I rocked against him once more, then took a step back. “Probably a good idea.” If we started this now, we’d never get to breakfast, and I definitely needed to eat. I wanted to keep my strength up for everything I wanted to do with him.
And to him.
And let him do to me.
He smiled and then turned, tension in his body like he had to force himself to walk away. When I heard the click of the adjoining door, I moved to my bed and stared down at the evidence of us. The messy covers held our smell, the pillow held the impression of him, and the clothes on the floor that weren’t mine were a reminder that I wasn’t hallucinating any of this.
It took me too long to get moving, so by the time I was done in the shower, dressed—wearing my orthotics because I wanted to be able to walk without worrying that he’d have to catch me—and my hair put into a neat french braid down the back of my neck, Ryan was back in my room on the couch.
I came to a stuttered halt when I saw him. He was wearing a dark button-up top with a faint palm tree pattern and white cargo shorts. His feet were bare apart from the thick leather flip-flops, and I was entirely enamored of the wiry hair on his legs.
He gave me a slow up and down before he stood and walked over to me, taking my hands in his. “Gorgeous.”
“I—yes. I mean, you too.” Fuck. How was I a person who put words together to make chart-topping songs, but I couldn’t even tell him that the sight of him made my toes curl?
He didn’t seem offended. He laughed slightly, then swooped in for a better, deeper, minty kiss. “Mm. Okay, let’s go eat. I’m starving, but if we stay here any longer, I’m going to undo all of our hard work.”
“Wouldn’t want that,” I said, lying through my teeth.
He laughed like he knew I was full of shit, but he didn’t call me on it. He tangled our fingers together, then tugged me toward the door.
It didn’t feel like real life as we hit the walkway. The breeze was heavy and humid, but it was cool enough to be comfortable. It didn’t feel anything like December though, which was the point. My gaze caught on the sunlight flickering off the bluewater. The ocean was very still, only just lapping at the shore, and I felt a sudden and intense urge to go put my feet in.
“Want to go for a swim later?” Ryan asked, gently tugging on my arm.
I realized I’d stopped walking and picked up the pace again. “Yeah. Do you have plans or anything?”
“Plans? Dude, this is vacation.”
I squeezed his fingers. “I mean, you know, excursions or whatever. I’ve never done the tropical island thing. I don’t know what goes on here.”
He laughed and shook his head as he led the way along the curving walkway toward the main hotel building. “I was going to wing it. I’m not really a plans kind of guy.”
I loved that about him. I didn’t know why. I lived on plans. I survived on routine. And maybe I needed to change that. At least for now. For the time I had with him. “Then swimming sounds amazing.”
He brightened. “We can rent snorkel gear from the guy in the lobby.”
I held the door for him, and he gave me a shy, tiny grin as he walked past me, then snagged my hand as we headed toward the smell of pancakes. “That’s all on you. I’m not putting my mouth where god knows how many other germy kids put their mouths.”
He burst into laughter. “You’re missing out.”
“On what? Hand, foot, and mouth? I’m fine.”
Tugging me to a halt, he pressed both palms to either side of my neck. “As a former EMT, I promise you’ll be okay.”
“As a man who caught a literal mélange of plagues while on tour, I think I’m going to letyoutake that risk.”
Ryan’s eyes darted back and forth, and I wondered if he was looking for witnesses before telling me what a boring piece of shit I was. Instead, he darted in and stole a quick kiss. “Fine.I’ll do the snorkeling for both of us. Just promise I can still get kisses after.”
“Listerine,” I said.
He laughed again and rolled his eyes before hurrying us along. “I think I saw some mini bottles for sale in the gift shop.”
For just a little while, the entire world narrowed down to the sound of his laughter and the press of his palm against mine. Then we reached the restaurant, and the hostess smiled at us like we were welcome. Like we were absolutely nobodies.
“Inside or outside?”
Ryan smiled. “Definitely outside.”
