“Do you think now that we’ve had you, we’re going to turn into monsters?”
She recoils away from me and turns to face the yard. “Are you?”
I walk up and lean over her back, ignoring the way she flinches. “We’re monsters already. You knew what we were when you got involved. It wasn’t our right; it was our privilege to see you through your heat.”
“I used you,” she says so quietly I almost miss it.
My mind spins wildly, a hole opening up. It never once occurred to me that she thought she had abusedus. What is even wrong with this adorable omega?
“Mutual use. I used you right back. Casey, listen to me, I enjoyed it. I had a choice; that’s more than anyone has given me in years.”
Her head hangs, and I shift her hair over one shoulder and nuzzle her exposed neck.
“I had a choice with the first guy, but I didn’t know what was going to happen. I didn’t know about the guys waiting. He wasn’t even done when they appeared, but I couldn’t…there were too many…and I wasn’t at full strength yet. I couldn’t reveal or I would give up any chance at freedom. I’d be mated and bonded and stuck with an alpha I hated forever. So I didn’t fight, and something happened to me. The wolf that I’d felt…she just disappeared.”
I turn her in my arms and take her chin in my hands. “Yes, you did. You fought in a different way; you fought for survival. I made their pleasure their pain. Equal parts, that’s how I fought them.” I say the words to both of us. “There’s no shame in doing what we had to to survive.”
She sniffs and then leans forward, resting her forehead on my chest. It’s such a small gesture of her trust and comfort that it melts away the last of my anger.
“Now, I know that you might feel a bit stupid, but do you think you can let us idiots take care of you, just for a little bit? We know you’re capable; we just want to do something nice to help you feel better.”
She nods without lifting her head off my chest. I lift my arms and carefully wrap them around her.
“Was it bad?” I’m hesitant to ask, but I have to know.
She lifts her head, only just missing cracking the top of her head into mine. “No! Why would you ask that? Was it bad for you?”
“No!”
We’re both staring at each other wide eyed. If I look anything like her, it’s appalled and terrified.
“It was great. Amazing. The best experience of my life,” I promise.
“Me, too.” She takes my hand and squeezes my fingers. “Angel, I…thank you.”
“We aren’t going to change just because. Remember that.”
“All right.”
I lead her inside, where Riot struts over to her, cups her cheeks, and kisses that adorable dazed look back on her face.
Hazard seizes her around the waist and then carries her into the kitchen and sits her on the bench. He picks up a plate of food and holds out a forkful to her. I watch for a minute and then go down the hallway to my bedroom and walk in, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Was I okay?
Yes, it was different with her, but am I being completely honest? I can feel the hold of that bracelet tamping us all down, restricting us. It’s like having a collar on. Freedom isn’t ours. We can pretend it is, but it isn’t.
That’s not her fault, though.
I grapple with my emotions, trying to find a solution, trying to find an answer. I let out a growling whine, and when I look up, Khaos is there, staring at me sadly.
He comes in and sits on the bed.
“It’s been hardest on you. Damn your pretty face.”
I shove at him, but it lacks conviction. He’s not wrong, though. Hazard, even though it’s just colour that marks us different, looks mischievous, evil. Khaos, Wrath, and Riot look downright dangerous. But they tell me I look like an angel, it’s why I chose this name.
If only they could see inside to see how evil and rotten I really am.
