“Oh, it’s dirty. I’ll just…I made the plate dirty. I’ll make you a new one.”
Shit. Fuck. What is wrong with me?
I spin but bump my knee on the bed, spit out a curse, and wish for a hole in the ground to swallow me.
“Sorry!”
Her long, cool fingers touch my cheek, and I still. She slides off the bed and into my arms. I sit down heavily against the wall with an armful of woman, a woman who is driving me out of my mind.
She doesn’t kiss me.
She doesn’t demand anything. She just curls up in my lap and buries her face in the crook of my shoulder. I wrap my arms around her as delicate shivers rock her body.
We don’t talk, and she doesn’t tell me all the things I’m doing wrong or how I’m fucking everything up. She just curls tighter like I’m giving her something she needs, like my presence is wanted, is valuable.
The door opens, and Angel peers in. His pale blue gaze finds us instantly on the floor. He waits for ten seconds and then quietly closes the door and disappears.
I don’t know when she falls asleep, but that’s when I realise something inside me changes. No one has ever been this vulnerable around me as to fall asleep in my arms. I want to protect her from everything. I want to see her smile. I hate this silent pain.
Instead, I get up and carefully lower to her mattress. The breakfast sits forgotten, but I can’t find it in me to care. I sit on the edge of the bed, watching her.
I want to stay.
Where I’m wanted, where I’m needed. I take my boots off and lie down on the bed. For a while, I wait for her to scream at me, to tell me to go, but when she doesn’t, I relax. I’m almost asleep when she rolls towards me, throwing a leg over mine and wrapping an arm around my chest.
She does this little sigh, and her whole body relaxes even more.
I lay there staring at the ceiling.
She’s different from anyone I’ve ever known. She’s kind, considerate, she doesn't treat us like scum, she hasn’t forced us to do anything.
Caseyisdifferent.
I want to stay with her.
I can feel the pack bonds as my contentment and bitter yearning flood into the others. I don’t even care.
She’s not the same.
She won’t hurt us.
I know it. I know it deep down inside where it counts.
The door opens, and Riot walks in. He closes the door, shifts into his other form, and jumps up on the bed, curling up on her other side.
Now I can sleep.
It’s been forever since I’ve slept alone. I can’t do it. Somehow, the pack always knows. It’s only safe if we’re together.
I let out my own satisfied sigh.
I like the way this is changing, even if the rest of the pack doesn’t.
Casey
I dig my handsinto the soil and pull the weed up. I can’t even remember the name of it, but I know that if I don’t get a grip by the roots and instead pull from the top, it will snap off and become a menace later.
Waking up this morning with Hazard wrapped around me was unsettling. I laid there, his arm around my stomach as he snored softly, and all I could think was that I would give anything to have the moment stretch on forever.
