I wanted more than this; I’d dreamed of more than this. This position is a trap.
“Here you are.”
I turn with a well-practiced but insincere smile. “High Beta!”
She swishes the long folds of her grey dress to the side and gives me a once-over. She’s a brown-haired, middle-aged beta with thin lips and shrewd eyes. Despite her hardness, I have grown to tolerate her. As part of the trinity of serving gods, I’m much closer with her than the airheaded omega goddess who spends most of her time flirting with anything that moves. She at least can understand my frustration with the impossible rules of this place.
“What are you doing out here?”
I look up at the mosaic again. “Just thinking about them and pondering whether they exist.”
She tilts her head up. “I believe she did. But it’s good she’s been gone these last three thousand years. The Luna Omega brings discord and suffering. She is a menace.”
Three thousand years. Has it really been that long since we walked in the winter forests? The ache from missing her is as strong as it’s always been.
The words stab sharp, and I have to crush the desire to protest. No one in my memory besides the All-Seer has even acknowledged that she used to be one of us. I’m curious about what the High Beta has to say, even though I want to rip out her lying tongue.
“Does she? I hadn’t heard that about her.” I’m still staring. The goddess immortalised in her art has snow-white hair that is caught in a wind. She has a sword raised to the sky; lightning strikes it. The consorts, two of them, look in each direction, watching her back. One has red hair, like fire, and the other’s hair is jet black.
The same tight feeling fills my chest, an ache, a yearning, a knowing that I am supposed to be hers. I’m supposed to be there with her.
Where is she?
“Come, we’re celebrating.”
“I don’t want to celebrate.”
“Neither do I, but we'll have a drink, and then we can go to our chambers, and the nagging will end.” Her displeasure leaks out of her whole body, and, on this, we are in agreement.
I press my lips together. “That does sound like a workable plan.”
I follow her into the private hall, which is decorated with gold and massive murals of places I have dim memories of. It’s full of the gods who live here and close by, laughing and swaying in an unusually inebriated way. I’d never been part of this crowd. I prefer the wild. The other alpha, beta, and omega gods have gathered in satin and lace dresses and robes. They are drinking and dancing, which in and of itself is unusual. The music is polite and friendly. How can music be polite? I'm not even sure, but it is. Everything about this place is just…contrived.
This is not what I wanted,I think again in despair.
That yearning fills my chest again, and I see wild, tangled forests, an immense landscape with people who frown and get mad, who shout and cuss. And this woman, this faceless omega who holds a hand out to me, smiling like she’s happy to see me.
I force a polite smile at the omega who bounces up to me. She says something and runs off, tipping her drink all over the floor. Even the Summer Alpha is smiling, and he’s known for his seriousness. It’s all very perplexing.
“Here, have a drink,” the High Beta says with deep loathing as she glares at the dancers.
I take the goblet and drink deeply. Even the wine is tasteless and watery now. I drain the cup just so I can hand it off. A server takes it and disappears just as quickly.
The Omega of Spring bobs her head and titters at me as she spins by into the arms of the Alpha of Joy.
“You aren’t happy here, are you, Alpha?” Beta says at my side. Her affinity is pride, but I have only seen glimmers of it in her nature. She waves at someone but keeps pace with me. “It’s obvious; you have always been restless and unsettled. I’ve always wondered why.”
I glance at her sharply. “I’m happy enough.”
“I can see through your unhappiness; you want adventure.” She laughs, and it’s so strange that I’m instantly wary. “You want to go to Earth? Play a game? We can just go and have a quick look. From the viewing rock.”
Her words freeze me into stone. She turns back, an eyebrow raised, a small smile on her red lips. We alone are still in this room of chaos.
What is she suggesting?
The rock is the only place we can stand on Earth without imploding something or ripping our powers out of us. But standing in the world where she is? It’s forbidden. The thought seizes me, whirling around and around in my brain.
I could just bend the rules, just this once.
