My Winter Wolf.
“There are four different ways for gods to be on Earth with the humans. The first is to possess the body, but due to the power of the god, it burns through the human too fast, and they will find themselves dying, sometimes in hours. The stronger the god, the faster it happens. A god essentially puts their consciousness and spirit into the body of the human. It is one of the most cruel and evil acts as the human suffers inside while the gods presence burns it alive.”
“Okay,” I say, wondering why she’s telling me this.
“The second way is called temporary placement. It’s where the mind of the god is put into a human body that has been damaged or has lost its human soul. It allows the god to take over a body and hide inside. That body and mind is directly tethered to the gods sleeping consciousness. When the god is killed in their human shell, they wake up here, back home, but it changes them. Being human leaves them a little more fragile and unstable.
“There’s a third way called spiriting, and it’s where the consciousness of the god is born into a human body, but the gods body must be tended, it requires trust and is extremely dangerous, often resulting in a disconnection and a burnout of the tether holding the god’s mind to this human body.
“The fourth way is to fall. It is to strip the gods of all their powers and send them down there, to live as a human, forever.” She pauses, thinking. “There is a final way, but if the god goes to Earth and stays there, he will destabilise the world, his power leaching out, destroying everything. It’s forbidden.”
I take that in, but it’s the least of my concerns.
“Will I remember who I am?”
“No, not at first and not unless you speak a key phrase or do a behaviour that will unlock your memories.”
“What is it? What would be so strange that it would unlock my memories?”
“You need to pray.”
I stare at her.
“Gods don’t pray often, so for you, in order to remember everything, things need to be bad enough, hopeless enough that you open your mind and adopt their customs, sending hope and faith to a higher being.”
“And then I will remember? Everything?”
“Then you will remember everything. Your life here, your lives as a human, all of them. You will remember me and everything that came to lead you down there, and then, Luna Goddess, you will have to look to yourself, knowing that you can handle this, that the entirety of two worlds put its faith in you to save it.”
My mouth goes dry. I won’t remember him. It hurts even more than I thought it would.
“That is a lot of pressure.”
“I know.”
I bite my bottom lip. “Will I love them?”
“They are your scent matches; you will worship them, and they will worship you. I promise that, in every life, you will find each other. You will not be alone.”
I bite my lower lip and impulsively reach out and grab her hands. “Please take the message to the god who waits for me. Thank you for being so kind, for helping me to understand that there might be some purpose still in my existence, even if it means changing everything and becoming someone else.”
She smiles. “Do youhave a name?”
I think for a long time, pondering over it. “Yes, I do. Kaida Keres.”
“No one will remember that you live multiple times, Kaida Keres. No one will recognise your mates. You will be invisible in the world, the warriors and guardians who silently protect it.”
“How are we supposed to fight?” I ask.
She smiles. “That is entirely up to you.”
I let go of her hands and step back. “I guess this is it, then.”
“Good luck.”
She bows to me again, low at the waist, her fingers making the traditional sign of the omega, a circle out of her index finger and thumb. I take one last look around, taking in the birds, the songs, the chill in the air. It’s so beautiful.
“You should go and look at the stars and the snow,” I say. I wipe away a tear that escapes. “I never saw anything so beautiful as the stars shining over a winter wonderland.”
