“REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE!” Cadel yells. “Remember before it’s too late.”
I stare at him, blinking. “What do you mean? Have we met before? Is that what you’re trying to say? Was it when my mum was alive?” I think of all the visions and those photos of the girl who looks exactly like me.
Cadel looks physically sick at my response. “You said you’d come back in the winter,” he whispers so quietly I almost can’t hear him.
I stare at him, frozen by the emotion in this alpha’s expression. The sadness that seems to be ripping him apart from the inside out.
“We’re going to the Resistance because we’re going to fight. We’re going to save these alphas and omegas.” He shudders. “And because I need you to remember.”
I stare up at him and feel a quiver inside. “Do you hate me, Cadel?”
His mouth parts, his fingers flex on my throat. He leans in so he’s staring intomy eyes.
“I could never hate you. I want to save you, Kaida. More than I want to live, more than I want the world to live. I just want you to be happy and healthy and alive. But your way buys time, not freedom or a life. And that life, the one you’re promising me…I want that to last a lifetime, not a few fleeting weeks.”
I stare up at him, wishing I knew what he was thinking. There is something infinitely sad about this alpha. I glance up at Mordecai and see the same expression on his face.
“I’m going to fight. I said I would,” I say in disgust. “Can you let me go now?”
Cadel slowly removes his hand and sighs. “This isn’t working.”
I don’t know what he’s talking about, but Mordecai and Jarek seem to understand without him needing to use words.
For a moment there, I thought we might have a happy ending. The crushing loss of it has me sullenly silent, refusing to speak to them as we head towards the mountains. Those distant peaks that promise the end of any peaceful dreams I might have had.
“Do you think I’m selfish for wanting that future with you?”
Jarek looks at me in surprise, but ahead of us, I can see Mordecai and Cadel tense.
“I don’t think you are selfish for wanting to be happy,” Jarek whispers. “I think turning you down was heartbreakingly hard because I wanted that dream with you. Kaida, you are beyond tempting. I would have loved to have lived wild with you. But Cadel is right; they would have come for us eventually, and we would have died.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t—”
“You can’t promise that. If we fight, there’s a good chance that one of you might die. More than one. We all might,” I say softly, wincing as I reveal my biggest fears. “I can’t bear it. The thought of losing another person I care about, about being left behind, alive and alone to live on without them. I can’t do it. That’s why I wanted to go run off and live—”
Jarek pulls me into him, his arms wrapping around me so tight I can barely breathe. He buries his face in my shoulder and just stands there, but the hug says everything that words can’t.
I love you.
I’m not leaving you.
I will fight to stay with you.
Do not be afraid.
I cling to him like he’s a lifeline that is saving me from all the fears that are trying to drown me.
When I lift my face, I find Cadel and Mordecai right behind Jarek, their expressions intense.
“I am sorry. I’m not the brave omega you all hoped. I’m just afraid. So very afraid.”
Mordecai growls but looks at Cadel.
“Kaida,” he says softly, “don’t you realise that those thoughts are also ours. I couldn’t bear to see them hurt you again. It would kill me if they killed you. I don’t know how I’d live if I didn’t know where you are. How can I exist without you?”
I stare at him.
