“I don’t blame you, but I’m going to work damn hard every day to prove that I’m yours, to prove that you can.”
He reluctantly releases me, but I stay there staring at him, unable to move away.
When he turns to walk away, I almost scream. The panic and fear is so strong my knees buckle. I just manage to not take a step and hold myself up, swallowing the sound of my terror. Before I can stop myself, I reach out, grabbing his hand, stopping him from leaving. I cling tightly, my knuckles turning white.
“Don’t go.”
My words are so low I almost don’t hear them, but I know he does.
My chest tightens, and my throat squeezes. I blink rapidly, staring at his hand.
“Don’t go. Don’t disappear. I won’t be angry. I promise. Just please don’t go. Please, Mordecai,” my tears spill over, the hysterical whispers spilling from me. I can’t stop them. “Don’t go. Don’t die. I’m sorry, I’ll be good, I promise—”
Mordecai has me in his arms in seconds, holding me tight. “You be angry, as angry as you need to be, but I’m not going anywhere; I’m not going to disappear. We’re going to survive and sort this out together over years. I won’t leave you.”
Over his shoulder, I see Cadel and Jarek approach, tugging us into the shadows, shielding us from the eyes of the Resistance. Mordecai repeatshis words over and over as I fall completely apart, more broken than I’ve ever been before.
Chapter 38
Alpha dogs
The day is moving towards midday, and though I’m struggling a little, it’s not as bad as we all feared. My wounds are half-healed, and the clothes that Legion supplied fit me like a glove. I’ve got a cape with armholes and a hood now to hide my hair. My new boots are knee-high and soft enough to give me full flexibility. The guys are also wearing softer, darker gear and are covered with the same hoods.
Legion had scoffed when Mordecai protested.
“You four are the most wanted alphas in this whole city. Don’t be dumb.”
And he had a point.
I glance around the building we’re in, watching for any movement, while I wait for the alphas to check out the floor above. Jarek appears, his eyes hard, and holds his hand down. I grab it, and he easily pulls me up onto the floor above. There’s just a fragment of concrete left, but it’s enough to get where we need to go.
I’m glad I don’t have a fear of heights because this building is little more than a frame now, and the wind that buffets through it is strong enough to snatch a person off and into a free fall to their death.
Cadel and Mordecai wait, looking me over before Mordecai moves swiftly to the side of the building, dancing easily along rio rods, crumbling concrete, and steel beams. Jarek points ahead to a dark hole that is covered with vines and creepers.
“That’s where we’re going,” he whispers in my ear.
Mordecai glances down then back at me, as if making sure I’m still here, then holds his arms out and runs with perfect balance across a steel beam.
The beam smashed straight into the building adjacent to this one and into that vine-covered darkness. Cadel silently urges me up onto it. I glance down at the street and see members of the Path running around.
They have been in a frenzy. We hit the hornet’s nest and stirred them all up. I want to be sorry, but I can’t.
I don’t look down again, just run into the vine-covered hole and through into the darkness beyond. I flip back my hood, looking at the dark and musty interior. The wood on the tables is warped, but it’s still there. There’s cords still plugged into electricity outlets. Other than the age and decay, you’d have thought someone just stepped out; there’s no sign of anything terrible happening in here.
Jarek lets out a chuckle. “Home sweet home.”
Cadel ignores him, going around and checking every corner of the floor, making sure there’s nothing that will attack us. Mordecai pulls out a couple of wrapped bars. I take one without looking at him.
My outburst is still weighing with excruciating heaviness on me. I feel like it said more about me than him. Unhinged is a word that comes to mind. Damaged. I didn’t realise that I was so scared of being left behind. Abandoned.
He’s still got a bruise on his cheek from where I hit him, and I hate that I put it there. He looks up as if he can feel my gaze. I’m too flustered to look away, but my cheeks heat. I open my mouth to say something, anything to ease this horrible tension, but my words have disappeared, swallowed by my bitter guilt.
I’m too ashamed. It’s like he can see all the broken, horrible parts of me, and I can’t put them away.
I stand up and turn away, going to the window, peering down on the street, watching the frenzy as the Beta’s Path searches for omegas, alphas, and us. The scent of fear in the city is almost as strong as the scent of blood. I’d hate to see what they’d do to us if they caught us. I don’t think we’d make it back to the Fang.
Mordecai approaches, I can feel him, smell him; he’s impossible to miss even if he does move silently.
