“Why?”
He looks down at me with concern and I quickly go on.
“Not that I’m mad about being yourmate,” I say, then kiss his burning chest. “I’m just curious.”
Hesmiles. “I think they wanted to see what love looks like from different perspectives.”
“What’s Apollo’s perspective?”
Rhazan’s cheeks glow brighter and he smirks. “He survives on other people’s pleasure.”
I chuff. “No wonder Sylvia looks so happy.”
A laugh rolls up his throat like distant thunder. “Yes. And he looks happy, too. Last I saw him was centuries ago, and he was struggling for purpose.”
“So, you’re all ancient?” I ask, tracing one of his searing scars.
“Ancient,” he grunts with displeasure. “Apollo and I are among the youngest of our creator’s children—in terms of how long we’ve been away from them.”
“Why did you stay longer?”
He pauses, considering it. “I’m not sure. They asked us not to go yet. Apollo and I both struggled to fuel ourselves with our siblings. He especially struggled.
“The creator kept us alive with their energy, but encouraged us to explore our own ways of sustaining our magic with each other before sending us to the world.”
The image of Apollo and Rhazan together in that way flashes through my mind. It’s not entirely unpleasant until I remember they’re brothers, and I cringe.
“Isn’t that awkward for him?”
He shrugs. “Sexual intercourse with siblings is taboo in your culture for a good reason, but our kind aren’t like you.”
The difference between us suddenly looms before me, an enormous canyon of doubt and fear. He’s not human. Not even an approximation of human. He’s veryother.He doesn’t even look like the man-shape he takes for me.
“Will you show me your real form?” I ask.
He holds me tighter and whispers, “Will it make you less afraid of me?”
My heart aches as I realize he’s felt all the things I just felt. “I’m not afraid of you, Rhaz. I’m afraid of what I don’t know about you, and how it could hurt us if I’m not careful.”
How long does he live? Will I grow old and feeble while he’s still this gorgeous Adonis? Will he continue to love me when I do? What will happen to him when I die? Can we have children, really?
I’d never considered having my own kids—it wasn’t something on my radar as a young woman caring for her brother and grandmother—but if we can get my parents home, then Rhaz and I could make a real life together. Maybe in a few years—or like ten years?—I could consider having a kid or two.
He sits up, sliding me down to the bed, and rises. His powerful legs flex as he stands and removes the condom. I admire his thick glutes with a heady fluttering in my stomach. The curve of his tail connects at the top of his cheeks, leading into his defined spine. Sweat slides down his muscular back, and I trace the lines up to his dark, luscious hair. Why haven’t I run my fingers through it, yet? It’s suddenly an overwhelming need.
I stand on the bed, making me tall enough to reach him. I push my fingers through his hair and against his scalp, combing out his black strands. It’s like silk between my fingers, cool and smooth. I massage his scalp on the next pass and he groans, leaning his head back until it rests on my shoulder.
“I like the way your eyes follow my form, how you yearn for it close to you. I don’t want that yearning to stop when you see the shape my creator made for me.”
“It won’t,” I say, confident that I can make this promise.
Even if he has twenty eyeballs and slimy tentacles, I’m going to love him. The thought smashes through all the doubt that has been building.
I love him…and I think he loves me, too. So we’ll be okay. There’s nothing we can’t overcome with this kind of love on our side.
“Show me,” I whisper in his ear as I comb out his hair.
His gaze darts to me, just one eye watching me warily. His throat rolls as he swallows. I wonder if this was too far, too fast. Maybe I should tell him I love him? Would that make it any better?
