I waltzed through the dark night, away from the tavern full of people drinking, dancing, celebrating.
Away from those who pretended this was all fine.
And the more I walked, the deeper the hole I’d fallen into grew.
My small brick cottage sat at the end of the street. It was quiet back here. Peaceful. I had no interest in constantly living in the center of it all the way Huntyr and Wolf did.
I much preferred the silence.
I shoved the wooden door open and immediately snagged the bottle of liquor from the table. The building was dark, without lighting, but the large window at the top of the structure let in just enough moonlight to allow me to navigate the space easily.
It was all I needed.
Thiswas all I needed.
I told myself that over and over as the liquor burned my lips and made my throat tingle.
Alcohol was the only thing I’d found that could fill that hollow cavern in my chest, that would allow me to forget the way Jessiah looked at me.
I was fine.
I was fuckingfine.
Yet every time we were near one another, he treated me like I was a ticking time bomb.
Unlike him, I wasn’t a damn near-perfect warrior who’d trained an entire army of refugees. And I wasn’t the son of the archangel, practically bred to lead a meaningful life.
I was nothing but a magicless fae, and I was here because I had nowhere fucking else to go and because Huntyr pitied me.
I took another drink. Then another.
Mid-sip, I kicked off my boots. I left them there and made my way to the small mirror above my bathroom sink.
I hated this fucking mirror. I hated the image that stared back at me. A dull face with sunken eyes and hollowed cheeks from hidden misery. Brittle, blonde hair that Huntyr had been jealous of most of our lives. But she didn’t see what I saw. She didn’t see empty eyes. She didn’t understand the pain that came with pretending to be okay every minute of every day, pretending that living in a world not made for my type wasn’t painful.
I put the bottle to my lips and swallowed again.
Fuck Jessiah. I didn’t need him. I sure as all hells didn’t need his pity.
Liquor sloshed out as I collapsed onto the unmade bed.
Morning would come too soon. In a matter of hours, the thick, suffocating night would disappear, and I’d once again find the strength to breathe evenly.
Come daylight, I’d once again pretend life was actually worth living.
But for now, I’d lie in bed and drink until I finally passed out.
Chapter 4
Jessiah
“Again!”
While my men ran through their usual morning drills, I couldn’t ignore the tension that thickened the air.
The conflicts in the eastern kingdoms were worse than I’d expected if they were actively seeking our help.
I built this army from scratch, gathering the men, training them, giving them hope. In the beginning, it helped all of us take our minds off the shit we had all been through.
