And the last thing I wanted was for Hunt to get hurt. Anyone, really.
It mattered to me.Shemattered to me.
“Jumping in to help a kingdom that didn’t do the same when we needed it doesn’t seem worth risking our safety. Jessiah’s need to feel important is clouding his judgement.”
Huntyr picked up her own drink and took a small sip, her expression thoughtful. “Wolf is beginning to see Jessiah’s point of view,” she said, her eyes not meeting mine. “He thinks we need to strengthen our borders and prove our alliances early, while we’re still rebuilding Scarlata.”
“And you?” I asked. “What do you think about all this?”
She took a long breath and tilted her head up to the sky. “I think I’m exhausted. And I’m tired of being responsible for these kinds of decisions. If I could see into the future, if I knew all possible outcomes, that would be nice.”
I almost spat out my drink. “Yeah.” I let out a sardonic laugh, wiping my mouth with my sleeve. “Maybe I should make a trip to Moira. Learn how to see the future for you. It would make me alot more useful around here. Then maybe Jessiah would actually respect me.”
I meant the words as a joke, but my chest cracked all the same.
Hunt’s smile faded, too, which hurt even more than the truth in my statement.
“You’re perfect the way you are, Rummy.” Her eyes softened. “I know adjusting to life here has been challenging, but you’re respected. You’re valued. This is your home just as much as it’s mine.”
I forced a smile. Hunt had so damn much to worry about already. The very last thing I wanted was to give her more to stress over.
“We’ll figure it all out soon, okay?” she pushed.
Wolf made his way over to us, his massive golden—and slightly obnoxious—wings fluttering into view. Huntyr’s face lit up at the sight, and as if the two were opposing magnets, she pushed off the bar and slipped into his arms.
“Go home,” she called to me. “Get some sleep! We’ll talk tomorrow!”
And then she was gone, she and Wolf winding through the bustling crowd.
Home.What a foreign concept. Midgrave had been home for so long. It wasn’t much, but it was familiar to me.
This place?
Two years, and every day, I felt less like I belonged. I was reminded at every turn that I wasn’t one of them.
I finished the rest of my ale in two large gulps then held up my mug, gesturing to Soph.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she sidled my way. “You seem down tonight.”
I laughed, the sound hollow. “I’m fine, Soph. Thanks.” I picked up the mug she’d refilled. “I’m just way too fucking sober.”
My third ale went down just as easily as the first two.
I wasn’t at all jealous of Huntyr. I knew damn well that she battled her own demons every day. But constantly witnessing the love she and Wolf shared reminded me of how alone I was.
It used to be the two of us against the world.
But she had someone now to protect her. To fight for her.
And I was pretty certain I’d never have that kind of love.
I shook my head and smoothed my hair down with my hands. No, people like me didn’t get happy endings like that. People like me didn’tdeservehappy endings like that. I was a lowly, scumbag fae who fucked everything up.
Jessiah knew it.
Huntyr knew it, though she was way too damn nice to ever admit it.
And I knew it.
