They went inside and she shed her bee suit and he poured them each a glass of wine. “White’s all I’ve got,” he said.
“White’s good.” She followed him onto the deck, with Charlie shambling along after.
The evening had cooled, and she slipped on the jacket she’d brought. A moon had come up, and in the soft light the hives looked like a village of tidy starter homes. You couldn’t even tell that twenty were missing.
“So are you going to let her go? To Colorado?”
He rubbed his face. He looked worn out. “I don’t know. A month ago this wasn’t even on her radar. I mean, she hadn’t seen her mother in four years. I feel like she’s gone from zero to sixty in about ten seconds. I can’t keep up.”
“Believe me, I know that feeling,” she agreed. “Their emotions are all over the place at that age. Girls especially. What was she like when she was little, before her mom left?”
“Happy, great. Like any little kid. I don’t think she realized how disengaged her mother was. I picked up the slack—gave her a bath, read stories, all of it.” He lifted a shoulder. “It didn’t feel like work to me. I loved doing it. I never understood how Sophie didn’t connect.”
“Lilah feels safe with you. That’s why she’s pushing back.”
He looked skeptical. “It feels to me like she can’t get away fast enough.”
“You’re home base. You’re there for her. I’m sure she doesn’t want to upset you, but like you said, it’s her mom. Of course she’s going to jump at the chance.”
He was quiet for a minute, gazing out toward the hives. “I guess I’m scared. I get that it’s important for her to have a relationship with her mom, but I don’t trust Sophie. My gut’s all over the place on this. I want to do the right thing, but I don’t know what that is.”
“Sometimes it’s hard to know the right thing. God knows I’ve made mistakes with Andrew.”
He glanced at her in surprise. “You seem like you have it all together.”
“Oh no, I’m still winging it.”
He cleared his throat. “I uh…I’m sorry for the way I acted tonight. You didn’t deserve that.” His hair was rumpled, and he was wearing a UVM t-shirt that had seen better days.
She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips.
“What was that for?” His eyes crinkled in an appealing way.
“You’re forgiven.” She kissed him again, more slowly this time, and he drew her into his lap. Even after the whole sweaty business wrestling the hives, he smelled salty and good.
He nuzzled her neck. “You know, Lilah’s spending the night at her friend’s.”
“I thought you were upset about that.”
“I was,” he ran his hands lightly down her waist, “until this very forward woman climbed into my lap.”
“I didn’t climb into your lap, I just ended up here!” She tried halfheartedly to wriggle off, buthe grinned and settled her more firmly. “Oh no you don’t.”
They were both a little breathless, and her heart was beating in a crazy sort of way. Not like when she went running. When she ran, her heart rate ramped up at a steady, regular pace. She knew what to expect at mile three and mile five. But now her heart was swooping around in a very unpredictable way.
“Shouldn’t we get out of this chair?” she murmured.
He pulled back, serious now. “Are we doing what I think we’re doing?”
Werethey? She hadn’t been with another man besides Phil in twenty plus years. Was it too soon to sleep with Glenn? They’d only been going out a few weeks. What if she was boring in bed? How would she even know?
“I didn’t mean…we don’t have to…” he said when she hesitated. “I just thought…”
Her heart beat in her throat. “I do want to. Very much.”
“It’s been a while,” he said once they’d made it upstairs to his bedroom. A no-nonsense room—the bed neatly made with a navy spread, a few framed photos of Lilah at various ages on the dresser. He looked nervous too, which made her feel better.
“Me too.”
