November
Today’s been a whirlwind of emotions.
Usually, on my dad’s birthday, I spend the morning lying in bed while I cry over the fact he’s not here anymore. Kelly and I go to Rooster’s for bourbon and sometimes food if she has time, while we talk about the good times and happy memories. Then, I get back in bed and watchThe Love Bug, my dad’s favorite movie and the one that sparked my interest in being a mechanic.
The only person I’ve ever spent today with has been Kelly. I didn’t even tell my ex about my dad’s birthday. I’ve neverwantedto spend the day with anyone other than Kelly.
So why are the words “do you want to watch a movie with me?” sitting on the tip of my tongue? What is it about Saint that makes me want to spend more time with him?
I didn’t expect to see him again, let alone so soon after the last time.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t like it.
Something about him calms me. Maybe it’s because he smells like vanilla and cinnamon, or maybe it’s the laugh lines that crinkle his eyes when he smiles. Maybe it’s the way he genuinely listens, like he’s hanging on to every word. He seems like a quiet observer, and I find his presence soothing.
I find myself wondering what it would be like to be wrapped in his arms.
Hell if I know why.
Hell if I know what the fuck to do about it.
Hell if I know how to stop thinking about him. I’ve spent the past three months getting a flutter of excitement when a white van would pass by the shop, only to be filled with disappointment when it wasn’t him.
It’s stupid, really, the crush I have on this virtual stranger. I don’t believe in love at first sight. Kelly seems to think he could mean something to me. I haven’t wanted to feed into her delusions, but there’s something familiar about him. If reincarnation is real, maybe we knew each other in a previous life.
When I saw him walk into Rooster’s today, my stomach flipped and twirled like I was on a roller coaster. I felt like a giddy teenager seeing her crush again.
I don’t know why Merv sent him my way—and I’ll be having words with him about meddling in my love life—but I’m secretly grateful for it.
Saint turns into my apartment complex all too quickly, and I direct him around the back to where my building is.
I should be feeling some apprehension over letting him know where I live, but the nagging feeling to invite him up overpowers any anxiety I should have.
He stops in front of the doors and parks the van. “I uh… I actuallydohave two loaves of bread if you’re interested,” he says, pointing over his shoulder.
“Are you sure? They don’t need to go to someone else?”Did you bring them all the way down forme? Why does your van keep having issues? Do you like me, yes or no?
“No, I brought them so I would have something to eat with the soup.”
I look back again and notice a Thermos and some muffins in the basket next to the bread.
I havesomany questions.
“Oh, well, I don’t want to take your dinner.”
“I have enough soup for two,” he blurts out. “If you don’t have plans. I mean, if you want to share it?God,I’m not trying to invite myself up. How about you take the soup and bread? And muffins. I can grab something on my way back.” His cheeks turn redder than his checkered flannel the more he talks.
I bite back a grin. I like that this Viking of a man can still get flustered. “Would you like to come up and share some soup, Saint?”
“I swear I’m not trying to overstep?—”
“I know you’re not. I’d really like the company.” I place a hand on his forearm, resisting the temptation to squeeze. Forearm porn exists for a reason, and I want to see what his look like.
“If you’re positive.”
“I am. The visitor parking is just down there. Let me take the basket up and make sure my place is tidy, and you can meet me up there after you park. I’m in 5C.”
Saint nods, reaching behind the seat and handing me the basket, his face leaning closer to mine as he does. I glance away before I stare too long at his lips. They look so soft. I wonder what they’d feel like pressed against mine or pressing kisses down my neck.
