Mrs. Lawton told me I had to write you a thank-you e-mail after the tour, but I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. Mrs. Lawton hired me last year because she was worried about her husband’s safety and said all the big men in Silicon Valley have bodyguards so her husband needed one, too. I thought I would be driving Mr. Lawton around, making sure no one gets close to him, getting him a sandwich from Subway, and maybe keeping my mouth shut, you know, if he had a girlfriend or boyfriend or something. In my line of work you don’t judge. I really didn’t know that by bodyguard Mrs. Lawton meant a dressed-up babysitter for her kid.
So anyway, the school tour was pretty good, not as boring as I thought it would be. I’m thinking of quitting my job, though. I’m not going back to school; I hated it the first time around. Either way, maybe sometime you would like to go out and grab a beer?
Randy
Did I just get asked out on a date by an applicant’s disgruntled staff member? Lola’s going to love this one. I always send her my best e-mails knowing these little gems make her day. If she actually suggests I go on a date with Randy, though, I’ll have to punch her face. Next e-mail.
FROM:Meredith Lawton
DATE:October 3, 2018
SUBJECT:Fairchild School Tour
TO:Josephine Bordelon
Josephine,
I always thought Fairchild would be the perfect school for Harrison, but once I saw the Ingenuity Lab I knew we had made the right choice! Harrison is going to die when he gets his hands on those tools. You do make the children wear hazmat suits when working with power tools right? We don’t want anything to happen to Harrison’s fingers, his piano teacher would be devastated.
Beatrice Pembrook agrees that Fairchild is the absolute best place for Harrison. Has she talked with you yet? I know it’s on her to do list, but she’s hosting a dinner for 500 this weekend to raise money for the India Basin/Hunter’s Point redevelopment project so her life is insane. It was a wonder she was able to carve out time for lunch with me yesterday. I guess that’s what the closest of friends do for one another though, am I right?
Randy, our bodyguard, should be writing you a thank-you e-mail as well. He shared with me that he could really see himself attending Fairchild alongside Harrison which makes me rest easy when I think about Harrison going off to big-boy school. There are so many crazy people in the world these days, the idea of someone coming after a high-profile child like Harrison is downright terrifying. I’m sure you can understand how having Randy there to protect him will really put Christopher and me at ease. And I know Randy is keen to stay with our family until Harrison is through middle school and has earned his black belt. Randy is beyond committed to our family, I feel so blessed. And don’t worry; Christopher will be at the parent interview, he’s devastated he couldn’t make the tour, truly. Harrison’s education is of utmost importance to him.
Off to see my meditation guru. I have upped my sessions with her to three times a week to get me through admissions season. I want to make sure in the midst of this crazy time I maintain being a centered mother and wife. It’s so important to prioritize self-care particularly during trying times, don’t you think?
Namaste,
Meredith Lawton
Oh, where to begin. How about the fact that Meredith Lawton thinks her child is already in Fairchild? And though I suspect he is not going to last through the month, are the Lawtons willing to paydouble tuition for Randy? I need to let this one sink in before I decide whether it deserves a response.
Time to read one last quick e-mail before meeting with Roan.
FROM:Ty Golden
DATE:October 3, 2018
SUBJECT:Kindergarten Tour
TO:Josephine Bordelon
Dear Josie,
Thank you for the school tour yesterday. While Daniel was ecstatic to be there from the get-go, I will admit I came in with some serious reservations. But between your warm smile, your thoughtful answers during the Q and A, and the phenomenal facilities, I have to say I, too, am impressed. Gracie would be a lucky little girl if someone as wonderful as you were to be in her life. Daniel and I look forward to seeing you again for the parent interview. Until then, keep sharing that beautiful smile with the world.
Best,
Ty Golden
Wait a minute, Wonder Boy’s last name isGolden? Well of course it is, ’cause the universe just kind of works like that. You don’t get to be a six-foot-four Adonis with a name like McClumsky. So now Wonder Boy will forever and always be known as Golden Boy. And Golden Boy is either more knowledgeable about how to play the private school game than I gave him credit for or he’s working me over with his man charm. If I didn’t already know Ty is gay, I might even read between the lines and figure this dad wants more than anacceptance letter. For sure it wouldn’t be the first time a dad has hit on me, but it has been a few years. More than likely he’s harmlessly flirting with me because he thinks it’s upping the family’s game.
Overall though, not a bad morning. A date proposal and a compliment from a foxy baby daddy, so I think I’ll let Meredith’s e-mail sit and not ruin my current good mood. I know she means well and she’s not used to having to play by the rules of the real world. She wants the best for her son, and she’s settled on Fairchild. While her sense of entitlement chafes me in all the wrong places, I can’t totally fault her; I feel the same about Etta, but with more subtlety and finesse, of course. To think that Meredith Lawton and I may have a minuscule something in common gives me pause.
•••
I grab the extra chair in Roan’s office and post up next to his desktop, where he’s busy checking the WeeScholars website to see how many applications are in so far. There are 261 applicants, including siblings, for the 36 spots available. About what I expect to have come October. And if we stay on target it will be upward of 625 by December 14.
“Two hundred sixty-one, you know what that means?” I ask Roan, tapping my pencil on his desk. He slaps his hand over the pencil to make it stop.
