His head turned so his deep-brown eyes could connect with mine. “I appreciate that, Octavia. There is not much to talk about, though.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“No?”
“No. You lost a spouse. And I don’t want to cross lines or anything, but I know you lost her around this time of the year. It’s not only Aleesa’s birthday but the anniversary of your wife’s passing too.”
His head turned left, then right in defeat. “I hate that they call it ananniversary. Like a person’s death is something that should be celebrated.Lifeshould be celebrated. Not death.”
“Well, you technically did celebrate a life today.”
He contemplated that, lips twisting. “A life for a life, it seems,” he muttered.
Silence greeted us again.
“Your mom seems really worried about you.”
He made a noise between a scoff and a snort. “She always is.”
I paused before saying “I’mworried about you, Javier.”
“You should not worry about me, Octavia. I will be fine.”
“I used to tell myself the same thing until one day I woke up crying hysterically from a bad dream and didn’t stop crying the whole day. It’s like it all hit me at once.”
“Your father?”
I nodded. “Nothing could console me. I lost him and had to finally accept that he wasn’t coming back. That day I just let it all out.”
“I see.”
I studied his profile, his sharp jaw and full lips. “Can I ask you something?”
He seemed to hesitate. “Sure.”
“Why don’t you ever talk about her?”
I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he allowed the question to marinate. His eyes lowered to his lap. “It is ... complicated.”
Oh. That wasn’t what I expected to hear.
I wanted to ask him what made it so complicated, but this was not the time to overstep. If there was one thing I didn’t mess around with, it was grief. Especially someone else’s.
“I’ll accept that.” I smirked. “For now.”
“Oh, for now?” he asked, laughing.
“Yes, for now. Hopefully one day you feel comfortable enough to talk about her.”
“I would not be surprised if that happened soon. You are very easy to talk to when you’re not being sarcastic, and for some reason I find that incredibly annoying.” One of his half smiles appeared and caused the center of his cheek to sink in, making it look like he had a dimple.
I busted out in a laugh. “I get that a lot.”
“Octavia,” he said, turning in his chair to face me a bit more. I perked up, fully alert. “If my ...moodsare too much for you, I will understand if you do not want to work here anymore. I know that I am not an easy person to deal with. It is why a lot of the prior nannies either quit or were let go.” He scratched his chin. “I do not mean to come across as angry or irritable all of the time. It is just ... well, some days I think about my past and it weighs on me, and I handle things the wrong way. But I am working on it.”
“Well, if you’re working on it,” I said, “that’s all that matters. I wouldn’t worry about how anyone else perceives me if I were in your shoes.” I leaned forward even more, catching his eyes. “But I have to let you know something, Valdez. I’m not going anywhere. I’ve dealt with humans that could make you look a saint. Trust me. It’s all good over here.”
A smile swept across his lips as he sat back in his chair with a nod and a breath of relief. “Glad to hear you will stay,Tava.”
