The elevator swelled with silence until the bell chimed and the doors split apart. We had made it to our floor.
Deke gestured out the doors, insisting that I go first. I did, and he followed right after.
I stood in front of my door, ready to just forget this day, shower, and go to sleep. I could FaceTime Aleesa in the morning, before the next game. I wanted to tonight, but it was too late to call. Seeing her would have made me feel better, though, that was for sure.
“If you’re looking for advice ...” Deke trained his eyes on me. They were mildly intense but soft around the edges. “I think you need to stop blaming yourself and startforgivingyourself.”
Eleven
Octavia
I took Aleesa to the next semifinal home game. It was the last home game of the season, and she missed her daddy.
Luckily, Davina was able to join us. We sat on the second row, swarmed by fans in red or black uniforms, face paint, or curly wigs.
“How ihh eheryin wit wurr?”
I looked at my sister, who had a mouth full of hot dog. “What?” I laughed.
She chewed some more before swallowing. “I said ‘How is everything with work?’”
“Oh. It’s fine. But stop talking with your mouth full. You know it grosses me out.”
She rolled her eyes, taking another bite of hot dog. After chugging down some Diet Coke, she said, “I really need to lay off the carbs. How am I going to fit into my dress if I’m eating stadium food?”
“Didn’t you say you hadn’t eaten all day?”
“I didn’t,” she confirmed. “I was rushing back from that meeting in Denver so I could make this game. Deke really wanted me to come.”
“Well, if you ask me, stadium food is better than no food.” My sister had a bad habit of skipping meals if she got too consumed with work. “I’m surprised Tish let you go all day without eating.”
“Tish wasn’t with me for that meeting,” Davina told me. “She’s on a little getaway with her man.”
“Ah.”
“But seriously. Work is good? No issues?” She eyed Aleesa, who sat in the seat between us and was staring up at the massive jumbotron.
“No, not really. I mean, Grumpy Giant is still alittleclosed off, but his attitude toward me is a lot better.”
“Is it?” Her brown eyes expanded as she tucked a curl behind her ear. “In what way?”
I hesitated and she noticed. Her head cocked, and her eyes narrowed.
“Did something happen?” she asked with a whisper of a smile.
“No, no.” I waved a dismissive hand, shaking my head. I wasn’t even sure why I was hesitating. I told Davinaeverything. But ... this felt like something I didn’t need to share. Javier had confided in me, and I respected that. It felt wrong to repeat any of what he’d said the day Aleesa had a stomachache.
“Tavia?” Davina called in her big sister voice.
I looked into her curious eyes before glancing down at Aleesa. She clapped and squealed as the Raven’s mascot ran onto the court, flapping its big black wings.
“Okay. Don’t tell Deke, because I don’t know if I should even be sharing this, but he talked a little about his wife for the first time a few days ago.”
“Oh.” My sister shifted in her seat, causing her gold bangles to rattle. “What did he say about her?”
“To sum it up? Basically, he wishes she were here taking care of his baby girl instead of him. He said it was hard to parent through grief. And I can tell he feels so much pressure and everyone has all these expectations of him. But ... I don’t know, Vina. It seems to really be weighing him down. I’ve never seen him like he was that morning. He looked so ... broken and sad.”
“Because he is.” My sister sat back in her chair with a sigh. “That’s why I told you to take it easy on him. He’s pretending to get by with his grumpy ways, but ... I know a broken person when I see one.”
