Fear of being hurt again.
Fear of becoming so vulnerable that I also became breakable.
I had carried that same fear with me foryears, thinking if I let another man into my heart, he would ruin me just as much as Lutherhad. Giving another man that kind of power over me had been petrifying.
But, without even realizing it, Javier had slowly brought me out of that depressing state of mind. He’d been there through it all, so patient with me, caring, considerate, and understanding. He’d never mocked me for my feelings and never made me feel like I was wrong for how I felt. He’d simply accepted me for the damaged, flawed woman I was and held my hand through it.
And being at my sister’s wedding, witnessing the real, genuine love floating between them, reminded me how important it is to have this kind of love—especially when it’s with someone who only ever wants to see you happy.
Sure, the love you give can be weaponized when you place it in the wrong hands; however, when it comes from someone who promises to never hurt you, defy you, or betray you ... well, nothing can beat that. Not even fear.
Deke and Davina shared vows, and they were beautiful. Truly, truly beautiful.
And their kiss ... well, of course Deke went over the top with it. He tipped her back just enough to angle her face, winked at her, and then kissed her passionately.
Everyone cheered, squealed, and rejoiced.
Because they did it.
They made it.
And, my goodness, how sweet it was to witness.
Fifty-Two
Javier
Deke and Davina’s wedding was food for the soul for many of us. I had never seen my best friend smile so much, or seen him look at a woman with so much adoration in his eyes. Davina was perfect for him.
During the reception, I watched the bride and groom share a dance, holding hands and gazing into each other’s eyes. Deke said something that made Davina throw her head back and laugh. I prayed they’d continue laughing like that together for the rest of their lives.
They swayed to “Saving All My Love for You,” and as Whitney Houston belted out her lyrics, my eyes shifted to Octavia, who was sitting at one of the tables, with Aleesa on her lap. Both of them watched the newlyweds with stars in their eyes.
I smiled, and as if Octavia could feel someone looking at her, her eyes swiveled my way. Her lips quirked up, and she raised a hand to her lips to blow me a kiss. I caught it and tucked it into my pocket.
The dance came to an end, and everyone cheered for the couple. Then the DJ produced livelier music for everyone to join in.
Octavia placed Aleesa on her feet before grabbing her hand. “I’m going to run her to the restroom,” she said.
“Okay.”
She walked past me, but not without pushing up on her toes and laying a kiss on my cheek. I watched her walk away, her hips swaying in that orange dress. Seriously. She looked good. If Aleesa weren’t here, I’d have run her back to the main house, found one of the empty rooms, and had my way with her.
“You’re so smitten.” Catalina stood at my side.
I glanced sideways at her as she sipped from a champagne flute.
“Who even says that?” I laughed. “Smitten.”
“Um, you’re dating a bookworm. You might want to embrace that word.”
I couldn’t help my smirk. “Sure.”
“I’m going to take Aleesa to the hotel so you and your girlfriend can have some alone time.”
“You do not have to do that, Cat.” I waved a hand. “It is fine. Aleesa will probably not be tired for another hour or so.”
My sister turned her head to pin her eyes on me, planting a hand on my shoulder. “I wasn’t asking. Octavia deserves to enjoy her sister’s reception, and you deserve to have fun with her and your best friend without worrying about Leesa. You’ll thank me later.”
