TWENTY-SEVEN
Mona
Findingout that Julian Lewis is Alex Connors has messed with my head. It’s consuming me, to the point where I want to call him and rage at him. But then, I talk myself out of it because I’m scared. I know that as soon as I hear his voice, I’d ask him to come back to me.
In a fit of rage, I grab my tablet and log into myHolidatesaccount. I go into my inbox there and click on the most recent message from Julian Lewis.
“The nerve on this asshole!”
I shake my head in disbelief. Now that I know it’s him, I can’t believe that I didn’t see it in the picture he posted for his profile. I zoom in a few times and stare. I know that I am looking at a much younger version of Alex, but I don’t understand why I didn’t recognize him from the beginning.
And then, it hits me. He’s smiling from ear to ear. He looks happy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him like this in real life. It’snot that he never smiled or laughed, but there was always a wall. He never let himself go completely.
The only conclusion I can come up with is that I never brought out that side of him. He never felt safe around me.
I throw the tablet on the couch next to me, standing up to stretch my legs. It’s been hours since I sat down. I’ve been driving myself crazy as I went over every single detail, wondering why I’m stupid.
Grabbing my phone, I call the only person that might understand me right now.
“Awww, I was just thinking about you.”
Elizabeth is all chirpy when she answers the call. I’m not so sure she is the right person for my situation after all. She’s too happy.
“I spent the night with Alex.” I am tired of beating around the bush.
“Oh… When?”
“Last night.”
There’s somber silence coming over the line.
“From the tone of your voice, I take it that you spending the night with Alex did not go as planned.”
I sigh. “There wasn’t even a plan! I listened to you and went to his friends’ party…”
“Were they rude to you?” It’s like she’s about to go kick everyone’s ass.
“No, they…”
She cuts me off again. “They ignored you?”
“Isn’t that the same as being rude?” I counter.
That throws her off. “Uh, yeah, I guess it is.” She becomes quiet again. “What did they do to you then?”
I blow a puff of air. “They were amazing,” I confess. “I had such a great time. We had dinner, then we played Charades, then…”
“Wait,” she calls out. “So you had a good time there?”
I sink my teeth into my thumb, applying pressure on my upper teeth. “I had a great time.”
“Hmm…” She takes some time to mull things over. “I’m confused then. What’s the problem?”
My eyes fall to the tablet. “The problem is that Julian Lewis is Alex!”
I pause for dramatic effect, but she’s not reacting like I need her to.
“I don’t know who Julian Lewis is.” She tries to be gentle when she says it, but I’m annoyed.
