I laugh, sarcasm dripping from every sound coming out of my mouth. “Beats me.”
”We’re all ready to beatyou.” He mumbles under his breath, but I can hear him clear as day.
”What was that?”
“We hope to see you.” He exaggerates each word, speaking slowly and a little too loud.
The smile on my face is only brief. I quickly remember that none of them cared about whether I’d be around or not for quite a while now. I don’t want to act like a bitch and complain about it, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit if only to myself that I was hurt by the fact.
”I’m gonna pass.”
My voice is cold and unforgiving when I speak. I sound like an asshole even to my own ears. No wonder they all dislike me as much as they do.
”Just like that?” Kyle asks in an incredulous tone. “Pass?”
”Am I not allowed to pass?”
He lets out a heavy sigh, like he’s about to give up on me. I knew it was coming, and now it’s just a matter of bracing for impact. It shouldn’t be too terrible.
”Why?”
I didn’t expect him to ask that. I thought he’d just get irritated and tell me off.
”I thought I’d become persona non grata with everyone.” I take another sip from my drink, this time not as long. “There are all these parties that I don’t get invited to anymore, which is fine. I don’t give a fuck one way or the other. But then you invite me to a random one after weeks of blowing me off.”
”Blowing you off?” He sounds offended. “I’ve been working my ass off to finish this last project. And you should know since you have access to all my folders!”
His voice raises a little more with each word.
“I’ve been neglecting Zara to the point where I think she’s under the impression I’m no longer interested in her,” he adds as he refers to his girlfriend of about four months.
”Well, blame it all on me,” I say. “She hates me anyway, so what’s another thing for her to be mad about when it comes to me, right?”
Kyle becomes quiet, to the point where I almost squirm in my seat because it’s uncomfortable.
”Dude, I don’t know what your problem is, but we’re all worried about you.”
They’ve been talking about me. I guess that should make me feel better since I thought I was just a forgotten acquaintance by now.
”You’ve always had this obsession with these girls, that they’re using us for money…”
”That’s what women do,” I interject.
”You’ve progressively gotten more disturbing in your thoughts,” he declares. “The stunt you pulled on Zara…”
I close my eyes in shame at the reminder of my abhorrent behavior a few months ago. We were all at the wedding of our friend Ray. Everyone was having a great time until I took it upon myself to fuck it all up. I noticed that Zara was standing by herself while Kyle had gone to grab them drinks. I started a conversation with her only to end up insulting her and accusing her of being after Kyle’s money.
The night ended in a cluster of epic proportions that we still haven’t recovered from.
”I called her and apologized,” I now remind Kyle. “It’s her problem if she can’t get over it.”
She actually told me straight up that she wants nothing to do with me, and that she will never get over the humiliation I’d caused her. That was followed by her hanging up the phone on me. That was the last time she said a word to me.
”Can you fucking blame her?” Kyle yells at me. “And I wish that was the only instance when you were such a dick, but you did that to Hayden before that…”
”How was I supposed to know that she was loaded?”
Hayden, who is Ray’s now wife but then woman he was casually dating, gave me all sorts of gold digger vibes. She was walking around like she was royalty, and like Ray was a stepping stone on her way to bigger and better things. That raised all kinds of red flags in my head because I didn’t want her to figure out that Ray was loaded. Turns out, she was a fucking billionaire a few times over, and she was only slumming it with Ray, whose millions felt like pocket change at that point.
