“So you don’t end up like me.” He says it like it’s obvious.
The implication is obvious. Because of my maternal lineage, I was a burden to him, never someone he could be proud of. I was, and always will be, the reminder of how he got duped and lost a lot of money because of it.
“You don’t want any grandkids?” I pose the question as a joke.
The silence comes over the line louder than anything I’ve ever heard. It suffocates me with the tension it instantly creates.
“Did you call to tell me that you got some broad pregnant?”
A picture of Mona’s face pop up from my memory bank. She has the prettiest smile on her face, and she looks at me like she… loves me.
“Nobody’s pregnant,” I tell my father.
“Well, that’s a relief, I must say. If you want a kid, we’ll find you someone suitable.”
It’s weird how while he refuses to support me financially in any way, shape or form, he thinks he’s got a say in who I should marry.
I suddenly realize that he would treat Mona the same way that I treated Kyle’s girlfriend, with judgement and nothing but contempt.
“I’ll be damned,” I laugh. “Kyle is right.”
“About what? And which one is Kyle again?”
He’s never met any of my friends more than once, some not at all, so it’s a fair question.
“Kyle told me recently that you brought me up to hate women.” I finally tell him the reason I called. “I told him he was wrong, but…”
He cuts me off. “I’m assuming that this Kyle character doesn’t have two pennies to rub together, and he doesn’t have to worry about women chasing him for money.”
I laugh, sarcasm dripping heavy. “Kyle has enough money to retire for the next three lifetimes and still live comfortably.”
“Then he’s an idiot,” my father declares with no hesitation. “You should stay away from people whose intelligence matches that of a gnat’s.”
I don’t bother telling him that without Kyle and my other friends, I would be a much bigger asshole than they already consider me to be. I also wouldn’t be as successful as I am without them. They believed in me like my father should have.
“I have to go,” I say as I realize that this is a pointless conversation. His beliefs are too strong, to the point where he refuses to even consider having a heart to heart with me.
I guess I should be more concerned about me wanting to have this heart to heart with him.
“Thanks for the call,” he now says. “Be smart, and be vigilant. Always.” It’s like we’re spies on a mission.
We hang up, and I put the phone down. I go back to my computer wanting to check on myHolidatesinbox again. Disappointment fills me when I still don’t see a response from Mona.
This leaves me with only one thing to do. Go back to her apartment. And hope she’ll let me in.
Maybe another piece of cake is in order despite the sick feeling I have in my stomach when I think of the price.
Sacrifices need to be made.
SEVENTEEN
Mona
I am so tired,I feel nauseated from it. I know I asked for more hours at work, but now that I got them, I don’t know if I can keep this pace for too long. Lack of sleep and of a life in general is killing me, one very long day at a time.
“Thank you, God,” I mumble to myself as I step out of my shoes, which I leave at the door. I lean back and drop my head against it, then slide down to the floor where I do a perfect landing, if I say so myself. I stretch my legs in front of me and try to enjoy this moment where there are no phones ringing or people asking me the most asinine questions.
As I stare into the abyss, my mind feels all over the place. There are so many things I want to do in my spare time, except that I don’t have any. I’ve been thinking more and more about moving out of the city, but this is all I know. Where would I evengo? What would I do? What if I ended up in a situation that’s worse than the one I am currently in?
