“I don’t give a fuck about your zip codes or about theHolidates. I told you from the beginning not to even get on there. You fell for it just like the other guys.”
“Once again…” There’s obvious effort in Kyle’s voice as he tries not to laugh. “I’d be offended had your karma not just knocked on my fucking door.”
I check the time to make sure that I’m not keeping my team waiting out in the conference room.
“How about we play guessing games sometime later, Kyle?” I suggest to my friend. “I have actual work to do, money to make, shit like that. I’m sure you got things to do, too.” I pause for dramatic effect. “Like make me money.”
Kyle is once again laughing his ass off, to the point where I am too annoyed to care about whatever the hell he thinks he’s telling me. So far, it’s been a whole bunch of nothing. Like I just told him, I was never a fan of this fake dating app, and I don’t need to know what they emailed him.
I am just about to hang up on him without even saying goodbye when I hear another voice in the background on his end.
“Have you told him yet?” Zara asks.
Kyle puts the phone against his chest, and I know this because there’s a weird static-like noise scratching my brain when he does that. I can hear him talking to Zara, though.
“I started telling him, but he didn’t hear me.”
“Oh, is there something wrong with the phone?” she asks. “I thought you just upgraded it.”
“Nah, babe, he just wasn’t paying attention.”
They both stop talking, leaving me to guess what they’re up to.
“I’m gonna hang up, Kyle,” I yell into the phone. “You’re dragging this out like a bad commercial break, so whatever you need to tell me can wait till later.”
“No, dude, hold on!” He sounds panicked. “I can’t hold this in any longer. I will die if I don’t tell you!”
“Tell me what, motherfucker?” I yell back. “You’ve been saying that for five minutes straight, and I still got nothing out of you!”
He takes a deep breath in. “Okay, ready?”
“Kyle,” I warn. “I swear to fuck that I will come over there and…”
“Mona joined theHolidates!”
My vision goes instantly blurry, and I am fairly sure that I just had a stroke.
“What did you just say?”
“Mona… Your ex-girlfriend who you…”
“I know who Mona is, fucker,” I growl at him.
“She signed up for theHolidatesapp.”
It’s funny. That’s what I thought he said the first time, too, but I still can’t quite process the information.
“That can’t be right.” My voice comes out weak.
“I can assure you that it’s her.” There is no sign of a shadow of a doubt in his tone. “Her picture is clear as day, and also her name.”
I run a hand through my hair. “You’re wrong. There are other women named Mona.”
“Isn’t her last name Higgins?” he inquires, but his tone suggests that he already knows.
“You’re wrong,” I repeat.
“Hold on.”
