“The goal of me finding someone on there was to have a date for this party, Alex.”
He doesn’t react. Instead, he decides to listen, showing me more maturity than ever before.
“I wanted to show up here looking glamorous…”
“You look beautiful,” he instantly says.
“I wanted to make you jealous.”
The whole idea was petty, but I ran with it, and now I wonder how wise that was.
“That was the only reason you wanted a date?” His incredulous tone suggests that he doesn’t believe me.
“That’s the only reason I said yes to a date with Julian Lewis,” I retort. “And you should know that better than anyone since you know what the app is all about.”
He starts pacing the room, every so often running his hands through his hair.
“All my friends met their women through that app.”
I nod at that but don’t have much to add because it’s something I was already aware of.
“They fell in love after they met on there,” he adds, more agitated with each moment that passes. “They are now in various stages of domestic bliss, and here I am… I’m…”
“You’re what, Alex?”
My mouth is dry and my entire body goes tense as I wait for him to tell me the words I crave to hear in person. It’s one thing to see them written in an email, and a completely different thing to hear them directly from the person you hope to spend the rest of your days with. The time when he dropped me off at my apartment doesn’t count. I was angry with him. I couldn’t take them in and appreciate them for what they were.
“I am so in love with you, I feel sick to my stomach.”
I purse my lips as I pretend to take offense to that.
“Good to know that love makes you sick,” I deadpan. “By the way, I feel the same.”
As far as love declarations go, this one has got to be the worst. But it fits the history we have together.
“What are you saying?” There’s desperation in his tone. He rushes around the table to get closer to me, putting a stop to the pacing.
I keep my arms crossed over my chest and stare him down. “I’m saying that I love you. I tried telling you this before, but you never listened…”
He grabs me and pulls me into him, almost crushing the back of my head as his hand presses it into his chest.
“I listened to every word!” He drops a desperate kiss to the top of my head. “Every fucking word. I was scared to say it back until you were done with me.”
“Say what back?” I challenge him, forcing him out of his comfort zone. Besides, I love hearing him telling me that he loves me.
He pulls my head back and cups my cheeks, with his thumbs sliding up and down. He stares into my eyes with so much emotion, I almost want to stop him. I don’t want to put him through hell just to hear some words. In the grand scheme of things, they’re not important. His deeds are way more important, and he’s been showing me his love in all the ways he’s capable of.
“I love you.”
His voice is gruff. He’s put everything that he is in this one short declaration. It means everything to me, and something I will never take for granted.
“I love you, too,” I whisper. “So much.”
The relief I see on his face makes me regret dragging this so much. He is truly a tortured soul, and I promise myself in thismoment that I will never play games with him. I will cherish his love, and I will return it.
“Kiss me.”
He drops his lips onto mine, and we both open at the same time. There is so munch hunger as we give this kiss everything that we have. It’s like a silent vow that, this time, nothing will tear us apart.
