I’m not.Not even close.But my leopard won’t stop pacing inside me.She wants air.Wants to stretch.Wants to feel the world with her own skin.
“I don’t know if I can,” I whisper.“Not with ...with someone here.”
His expression softens.“Then I’ll leave.”
Panic spikes.“No!”
He stills, eyes locked on me.
I breathe shakily.“If you leave I won’t do it.”
He nods.Slowly.Carefully.“Then I’ll stay.”
I place one hand on the blanket, bracing myself.My body trembles.My leopard presses against my skin.
Instinct says shift.Trauma says run.
My throat tightens painfully.“I’m scared.”
His voice is barely a breath.“I know.”
“I haven’t shifted since...”My voice cracks.“Since them.”
Silas lowers himself to the floor, sitting cross-legged near the bed.Not blocking.Not pushing.Just being there.
“You don’t have to,” he murmurs.“Not today.Not tomorrow.Not ever if you don’t want to.”
“But Iwantto,” I whisper.The thought of never shifting again makes my heart hurt.“I miss her.”The admission tears out of me, raw and soft.
He nods gently.“Then we’ll go slow.You lead.”
I close my eyes and breathe deeply.In.Out.In.Out.My leopard presses harder.A cold spike of fear claws through me.I gasp, pulling back instantly.
Silas moves, to reach for me, I think, but stops himself inches away.“Aria,” he says softly, “it’s okay.”
“No,” I choke out.“It’s not.I can’t.I can’t shift.I can’t do anything.I’m useless.”
His expression cracks open with something fierce.“You are not useless.”
“You don’t understand...”
“I understand more than you think,” he cuts in softly.“And the last thing you are is useless.”
I shake my head violently.“I can’t even shift.”
“Because you’re scared,” he says gently.“Not because you can’t.”
My breath trembles.Tears sting my eyes.I hate it.Hate how weak it makes me feel.
“Aria.”His voice is deep, soft, and steadying.My eyes snap to his.
“You survived,” he says.“That alone makes you stronger than you realize.”
The words hit something deep inside me.My lips tremble.“I’m trying,” I whisper, voice breaking.“I’m trying so hard.”
“I know.”His voice dips lower, rougher.“And that’s enough.”
A tear slips down my cheek.Then another.
