I paused to give Erin a window, but when she didn’t start speaking, I kept going. I reached across the table, grabbing her hand to get her attention. Her eyes snapped to mine. “I’m sorry for what I did to you. I wish I could tell you why I panicked, but the truth is that I don’t know why.”
Her fingers tightened around mine and she smiled. “I think I have an idea.”
“Enlighten me.”
“You have a fear of commitment.”
“You and I were together for years.”
“Sure, but we were kids. We went to school, to football games, to Homecoming. Think about the timing: you panicked when things started to get real. Moving away, being on our own—you weren’t ready to grow up yet, and a kid would’ve just complicated things.”
“I still deserved to know,” I said softly.
She gave me a sad smile. “I know, and I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking this far into the future—I wasn’t thinking of you. It was a foolish, selfish decision on my part. I’m sorry.”
With one last squeeze, she released my hand. “Does that mean we can work this out? I’ve had a week from hell, and it’d mean a lot to me to see Hannah. Carlos misses her too. I’m pretty sure she fed him double and now he thinks I’m starving him.”
“I can’t believe you got a dog.”
“After the way he spoke to me this morning,” I grumbled, “me neither.”
After paying, I walked Erin to her car. We paused by the driver’s side door, tugging our coats tighter around us.
“We can talk about it,” she finally said. “I know she’s got some FLA stuff coming up so her weekends are going to get pretty busy, but I’ll have her call you.”
I opened my arms, surprised when Erin stepped into the embrace. “Thank you,” I whispered, ignoring the way the wind shot her hair into my eyes.
“You turned out good, Clark.” I didn’t miss the way her voice broke when she said it.
“So did you.”
Chapter 27
With one painfulmeeting out of the way—and having gone surprisingly well—I killed time at home with Carlos until I knew James would be at the bar. That ache in my chest returned at the thought of seeing him again, but I had to let him know what I’d found: it had been Luke all along.
I paced outside the front door, trying to work up the nerve to open it. It was cold—fucking freezing—but the chill was preferable to facing my… ex? Did I consider him that? We hadn’t been a thing for that long.
Our short time together didn’t make this conversation any easier.
I turned on my heel, the door almost smashing my face when Dani pushed it open from the other side. “Ryder, what are you doing?” She pulled her arms tight around her as the wind blew. “It’s freezing out here.”
I shoved my hands in my pockets, a welcome change from running them through my hair. I indicated the back of the building. “Is he here?”
She gave me a sad smile. “He’s always here. You know he didn’t want you to quit your job.”
“I didn’t quit. I’m just taking some personal time.”
“Do you want me to tell him you’re here?”
I shook my head, eyes burning again. The wind—they were stinging because of the wind. “He knows. I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and talk to him.”
She held the door open. “Were you planning to do itbeforeyou froze to death?”
“I hadn’t decided yet.” Welcoming heat poured through the open door. Another gust of wind sliced through me, making my decision. I entered, and Dani locked the door behind us.
“I’ll be in the kitchen,” she said. “Making a lot of noise and unable to hear you at all.”
I chuckled. “Thank you.”
