My mom gasps. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“I didn’t want to make a fuss over it. You have a lot on your plate.” Her mouth droops a bit, and I know my words hit her harder than I intended. “I’ve been looking for a place, but everywhere is so expensive. I thought I had found something, but the rent was insane. Between that, bills, and my savings, I just couldn’t swing it.”
“Are you still saving to start those camps you’ve been dreaming about for the last six years,” she asks.
“Yes, I don’t make much, but every extra penny is going into my savings.”
My parents look at one another and then back to me. My mom shakes her head.
“We admire you and all of your goals, honey. But have you considered saving a little less so that you can afford something better?” she asks.
I ignore her statement, sipping from my coffee mug. There is nothing wrong with planning for my future, especially when my plan would make my little brother’s life so much better.
“Have y’all thought any more about hiring more help, so you don’t have to do as much?” I ask, changing the subject.
“It’s expensive to hire help,” my dad says. “We’re making do with the three caregivers we have. They’re covering most of the weekdays, and then we have him at night and on the weekends. It’s working.”
“Is it?” I mutter. “You’re hurt. It’s only a matter of time before mom gets hurt too.”
My mom rubs her hand down my dad’s back.
“I know you don’t want to talk about these things, but y’all need to consider it. The last thing I want is for either of you or him to get injured,” I argue. “And if the lift is broken and the caregivers are calling out, it would be nice to have some alternates so it doesn’t all fall on you.”
“We’ll look into it,” she says. “But you need to look after yourself and stop worrying about us. Promise me you’ll find a place to live that’s decent.”
“My current place is decent.”
“Baby, you live in a shoebox that was built god knows when. You constantly complain about leaks and repairs that need to be done. No wonder they sold it.” She gives me that look that moms give when they know they’re right.
“It’s not that bad.”
My mind jumps to the bucket I placed on the kitchen counter this morning to capture the water dripping through the ceiling, and I wonder if it’ll be fixed when I get home.
“Do you currently have any active leaks?” she asks like she can read my mind.
“Yes. Okay, maybe you have a point, but overall it’s safe, affordable, and close to work. I like living there, and I’m really bummed that I have to move.”
“I know, but maybe it’s time to spend a little bit more money on the present. I know you have big dreams, and I have no doubt you’ll get there one day, but you never will if you don’t take care of yourself now.”
“My friends have been really supportive. They all offered me spare rooms and their couches, but I don’t want to intrude.”
“It might be a temporary solution until you find something more permanent,” my dad says.
An unwelcome Tanner thought pops into my head, but I push it away.
“Yeah, but Poppy and Lacey moved in with theirboyfriends. Chloe is a single mom, and Gray’s in a studio. They don’t need me barging in and taking up space.”
“I’m not surprised,” my mom says.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just you always think about others before you think about yourself. It’s admirable until it starts to affect your quality of life.”
Okay, ouch.
“I agree with your mother.” Dad sips from his mug.
The chances of me finding something as affordable as Cedar Hill is slim. I refuse to stop saving money, so maybe I should just give in. I stand from the table and load my mug into the dishwasher.
